Becoming Ourselves - The Podcast

Becoming Juli with Guest Host Daniel Tuttel

October 13, 2021 Season 2 Episode 7
Becoming Ourselves - The Podcast
Becoming Juli with Guest Host Daniel Tuttel
Show Notes Transcript

We're turning the tables on Juli this week and bringing in our podcast producer Daniel for a no-holds-barred interview. Lets do this thing!

BIO
Daniel is a producer, Screenwriter and Podcast host/producer living in Los Angeles, CA.  

Daniel's writing credits include two produced independent feature films, a full web-series, multiple pilots and, most recently, a short film that's been accepted into eight film festivals between 2020 and 2021, where it won Best Drama.  Daniel has also been involved in podcasting for over 10 years after his first comedy radio show in 2009.  Since then Daniel has developed, hosted and guest hosted multiple podcasts including his current show "Hollywood Hustle Podcast".  

Daniel recently started his own podcast development, production and coaching company to assist individuals, influencers and businesses develop their own podcast called "Hustle Podcasting".

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Instagram:
@DanielTuttel & @HustlePodcasting
TikTok:
@BeardedWriter
Twitter:
@DanielTuttel

CONNECT WITH ME
Instagram | Clubhouse | Facebook: @juliwenger
https://www.juliwenger.com/

Juli Wenger:

You're on this earth for a purpose. You want to live a life that matters. So let's get through the fear and the overwhelm the knowledge shift that gets in a way you can you living a life. This is the becoming ourselves podcast so we are fired up about you getting clear on who you are, what you're called to, and how to get there. Because the world is waiting for you show up and own your power. I'm your host, Juli Wenger, a coach, a speaker, a Jesus lover in enneagram, two and a tree shake. Let's dive into what's keeping you stuck. Because on the other side is the life that's fired up, fulfilled. And

Unknown:

welcome to the Hollywood hustle podcast. I mean, whoops. Wait, oh, sorry, Robert. Welcome to the coming yourself.

Juli Wenger:

So what are we calling you today? my podcast editor my producer. I don't know.

Unknown:

I am the Miami Alec.

Juli Wenger:

Make stuff sound good. You're welcome.

Unknown:

I make sound good. Yeah, I edit your podcast and we become friends. I love it.

Juli Wenger:

I think that's great.

Unknown:

I think we're friends. We're we're international friends. I'm in Los Angeles. She's She's up in the Great White north. Yeah. Quite wait. Yeah. It's not white yet. Great. Somewhat

Juli Wenger:

yellow and red and green and orange right now. It's actually really beautiful here.

Unknown:

It's really nice here now right now to it's really it's like basketball weather here. Like you could go play a game and you'd be like comfortable playing game of basketball here.

Juli Wenger:

Let's not have this conversation in two months, because then I'll be like, Ah, so how much is real estate in California.

Unknown:

I'm so excited to talk to you today about you and kind of share I guess a little more about you with your audience and a little more about how you've become yourself and where you are today. I think that's really exciting. Are you a little bit? A little bit?

Juli Wenger:

Yeah.

Unknown:

Are you are you I mean, I'm not gonna ask you any like Why? Questions, so don't worry.

Juli Wenger:

I mean, you could edit it out. You have that power. That's

Unknown:

true. Like I do have the power I could make you sound however I want. It just turned in like an hour before it's supposed to go up so you can't make changes. So I guess like, I'm really curious. What was what was Julie like, as a child? Like what were what was little Julie like if I ran into her, what would she

Juli Wenger:

I was this smiling, bubbly, little blond haired, blue eyed, cheery kid. And I was a people pleaser, even you know, as a five year old. That's about as far back as I can remember. To be honest, I think my first memory is my friend down the block. shentel she had a wading pool. And it had a built in slide. And it was green and it was like a crocodile or something. And I was like, this is the most amazing thing ever. So like I remember little bits and pieces like that. But I I was a little kid that just wanted everybody to like me. And I wanted to be friends with everybody and I wanted to fit in and I wanted to belong and I see so much of that and my daughter now I think I was also a bossy pants. So I have two little brothers and they're both much taller and larger than me now but the Danish jeans run deep. Anyway, they hardly got a word in edgewise and I was an over nurturer and I was a protector and I was like the kid that would lay out pictures on the table. Hey Tim, which picture do you want? Cuz I'm giving right giving them something which picture you out well I think this one well I don't know if you want that one. Maybe you want this one instead? I think you'd like this one. Are you sure you don't think that that's the best one for you. So I essentially always had a plan for them and I needed them to fit into my little plan for them.

Unknown:

So it sounds like the coaching started early. Like the idea like helping people push them towards their their path and help them discover

Juli Wenger:

a few years to grow into figuring out that other people could have their own path and that I didn't need to control what was going to be

Unknown:

so when it came to like your parents was it? Were you more like a mama's girl or your daddy's girl?

Juli Wenger:

I think I sat kind of in the middle. There wasn't any really specific either or but we had a super stable I would say predictable life. Where dad was home every night and mom was a stay at home mom and we went camping every summer and we went to bargaining in the winter. And we just had our normal little routine and we, you know, spend a lot of time at church, like so much time at church. And it's funny actually talking my parents now that we're older, they're like, we'd spent more time at church than maybe what's good for you guys to kind of like, because they say church, and they were like, part of the leadership teams and do when the secretarial thing back when you called it secretaries and it Yeah, that was a big piece of time we spent so we all just kind of hung out together a lot.

Unknown:

Who are you more like your mom or your dad? Oh,

Juli Wenger:

I'm both and neither, like, I'm so fiery. Sometimes. And I mean, sometimes I think I'm fiery. And I'm actually still kind of soft. But my, your Julie friendly chat is super, you know, easy to get along with and likes being around people and talking to people and just, you know, really easy go in. And so I think that I get some of that from him. And he gets fired up about specific things, right? Like, there's certain topics that he'll just like or write into. And Mom, how she always had high standards. And there was a, I don't want to say there was a perfectionism that I got from her because perfectionism has these kind of negative connotations to it. And she's relaxed so much as she's gotten older. And there was this, you know, reaching that I think that I took from her so I'm probably more like a healthy version of my grandma. Okay, because she was like, a never stopped talking and take care of people. And yeah,

Unknown:

right? Is there something from one of them that you got that at the time you found annoying, but like, you see it in yourself, and you're almost happy that you have it now, um, because I have something like that with my mom where she used to be, she's very personable, she's very friendly. She's very southern. And so like, anywhere we went, she she could talk to anybody, anybody in a grocery store, in a restaurant, like she could start a conversation with anybody. And I would get so embarrassed when I was a kid, I'd be like, Mom, God, please. But like, I'm the same way now. And I'm so thankful that I am that way. I'm so thankful that I can have a conversation with anybody because it makes life so less boring, and so much fun to be able to just like I see someone in line at a grocery with it's wearing a some outfit that I recognize, like, Oh, hey, are you a fan of this? And we start talking, you know, and so like, that was so annoying to me as a kid now I'm like, thank you for giving me that. Right?

Juli Wenger:

And that's a really good question. What did I get from them that drive that used to drive me crazy? One of the things that comes to mind I don't know if this exactly answers the question, but my desire to belong my desire to fit in my desire to be enough. I think that that really came from some of their childhoods and their upbringing of just growing up in the kind of culture that existed in like the 60s in the 70s and yeah, I very much took on some of those patterns. But now I'm really grateful for those experiences and that lens and those patterns because it's allowed me to show up and serve people from a place of really understanding that and it's allowed me an opportunity to such a coach answer it's funny to step through some of that stuff

Unknown:

the the phrase it's allowed me the opportunity is such a coachee

Juli Wenger:

gift and that was which I mean that in and of itself was not something I'd

Unknown:

accept what i what i what i took away from that what I took

Juli Wenger:

away from that as I grew into myself

Unknown:

right as I shifted and found my values so obviously that's a little kid we're and i'm i'm curious because I have a daughter so i'm i'm curious about other women what they were like as teenagers. Did you continue that same personality? Obviously we grow and we change. Did you have a super rebellious, I'm dating the bad boys

Juli Wenger:

for their money. Oh my goodness, I still apologize to both of them. There was one time I took off running in my socks. And I went and hid at my ex boyfriends house when I was a teenager, there was a period of time because of my I think it was my own just lack of self worth and wanting to belong and this attachment I developed to I get love when I nurture people. So I developed an attachment to I need to fix people. It was like a savior complex. So when I got to say High School I'd gone through all of these years of really being the try to hard kid. Total sweetheart but Teacher's pet try too hard. I was trying to read Gretchen Reubens, the four tendencies I got through like two chapters. I was like, I'm out on this book, but I'm such an obliger. So anyway, it was like, how can I make people love me? How can I prove how can I, you know, be helpful enough? Just my enneagram to for any enneagram nerds, right? How can I be helpful enough that I'm worthy. So I started attracting to myself, friends who are super needy, I started attracting to myself boys who were broken. So I went through like 14 boyfriends in high school, I was rarely solo was like I needed a boyfriend to complete me. And I would always break up with them first, I only got dumped once in my entire life, because I'd go through this 123 month cycle of like, yeah, there's potential rejection here. So I'm gonna Peace out. So I can control that. There were some that I dated over and over and over again, like a boy from literally, this was kind of funny now, but the wrong side of the tracks. And I wanted to fix him because there was an abusive situation. And that was like, my nature was like, oh, like he needs love and nurturing and connection and whatever. And it was actually pretty unhealthy. Not because either of us had any of that intention. But we're both so kind of messed up in our own way that it just wasn't a great situation to be in. Yeah, I took on, actually what happened, just the backup was about the same time that I started dating, I had a couple of former best friends from elementary school, because where I grew up, there's no junior high, you just go to like K to eight, then you go nine to 12 when you're done. And so I switched schools for grade nine, because I thought new start, then I'll fit in and belong, and I can make new friends and I could be a different person. And you know, people please. And I'd still kept in touch with some of these friends. So I started dating a boy that one of these other girls wanted to date. And she lost her mind. And it turned into a I think because I blocked some of it out a two plus year bullying adventure of being chased home from school every day, and like my boss would go past their school, so they would get on my bus. And then they would like it was her and another my former best friend who had the pool in our backyard, that would walk home behind me and threaten and yell would throw ice balls at my window who would show up at the park, when we're out, you know, with collective friends and threaten and they never laid a hand on me, which was interesting, because this was like, late 90s, early 2000s, kind of, I guess would have been late 90s Ranges before the turn of the century, because I'm old, that the police wouldn't do anything about this kind of thing. Like email death threats, this was not a like, we can't take action unless she hits you, essentially, was the story. So I had this narrative of, I'm not enough, and I don't belong, that then got compounded into I'm not worthy of protecting, because this went on for so long. And I'd have friends that would stand between me and her. But no one seemed to be able to make it stop. Or I'd have friends at school and say if she lays a hand on you, I'm gonna, but no one would make it stop. So what happened from there for me, was a couple years of living in fear, and some layer of our level of trauma to it finally ended. And I don't exactly know what precipitated the end. I mean, there was an ex boyfriend that did like yell at her one night and tell her like this is it, it's done. And I don't remember if that was actually the transition point or what but eventually it ended. And I'd gone through a period of depression and of being extra needy in relationships. And it was just like, it was a really rough time, kind of 1415. And then I started to come out of it. And when I came out of it, I swung the pendulum really hard from victim to protect her and essentially came at it from the space of Ain't nobody going to do to my friends what she did to me. So then I turned into the girl that someone was threatening my friend at the school across the field from our school, so I'm going to park myself in their lunchroom until she shows up and then I'm going to scream at her in the lunchroom and threaten her if she doesn't leave my friend alone. So I became the thing that I was trying to protect people from for a short period of time. So it was like my angsty rebellious period as a teenager and then slowly started to return to more of myself where then you know, grade 12. I'm on the human rights club. And I'm the president of students against drinking and driving, and I'm getting cut out of a car, lunch break and the front lawn of the school and like everything shifted back to this elementary school version of me, that was show up and do all of the things and be amazing Teacher's pet front row, proving of enoughness by being kind of a goody two shoes. Like as much as I went through boyfriends, I was never the kid who was like drunk at parties. I didn't go to a lot of parties. I never tried drugs. To this day, I haven't tried drugs. So that's that was kind of an interesting dichotomy of people think either you're like a total mess in all capacities. teenager, or there's the flip side. And that's kind of it. And I think I struggled somewhere in the middle.

Unknown:

Obviously, you kind of use it came out as like the ultra protector, where you almost kind of started doing what you did, at where you are now looking back. How do you? How do you think that connects to where you are now?

Juli Wenger:

Yeah, there's a really clear tie honestly, in that, I think without having gone through that whole experience of being bullied feeling like there isn't protection, am I worthy of love of I'm worthy of being protected? Am I worthy of being worthy of belonging? those themes have been absolutely fundamental in terms of my purpose in life. And when I've done explorations years ago, my first real growth book was the audio book of start with why. And what came out of going through this exploration of all of my stories was key pivotal moments in life was this desire to create belonging, and safe space for people. And so when I look at the work that I do, in helping people now, you know, find their fire and trust themselves and live their purpose, there is a big piece of that it's very underpinned by do they feel like they belong? Do they belong to themselves? Are they in a community that's supportive? Who are they surrounding themselves? With? What is the self talk look like all of these different narratives? And do they feel safe. And if I look at causes that I am really invested in for looking at anti racism work, if we're looking at protection of sexually abused children, and treatment of all of these things, that my bleeding heart save the world complex really leans towards, and always has our issues where belonging and protection are really key. So I see how I always say God must have a sense of humor, because there's all of these things now that I would not have traded that experience for something else, because it's built me to be able to do this work. It's built me to be able to show up for people in a way that is important in a way that matters. And that really gives me clarity on what's at stake. And what does it feel like? There's an empathy piece, I guess, there that is really foundational.

Unknown:

Yeah, absolutely. There's, I mean, there's that emotional connection of, I know what you're going through, because I've been there as well. And you can see a little bit of yourself, I think, sometimes in those people in those moments as well. Now, you did real estate for 10 years, for a while for a little bit of time to

Juli Wenger:

get hold of my life.

Unknown:

Why real estate? And I guess also like when you came out of that, what do you feel? What skills did you learn? And what did you learn about yourself?

Juli Wenger:

So why real estate I fell into real estate, essentially. So I went to university. And I went to university actually, because I couldn't get into the trade college that I wanted that had an interior design program. So my now husband, we were dating at the time, he's like, well just go to university for a year. And then you'll have that under your belt, you'll look more attractive to this program, which in reality I was trying to take because I thought that that would make me special and unique. And that was something I should aspire to. Because everyone likes interior designers. They're cool. And I like design and I like houses and whatever. So anyway, I ended up going to university and there was an interior design minor. So I took that in this program called Human Ecology, which is all about how do people interact with their environments. So fast forward through a couple years after university of bouncing around to follow his job. We land back in Edmonton and these temporary kind of bounce jobs that I'd taken along the way wherever we had been. We're running out of work, one of the men transitioned with me to where we are now. And I didn't love it, I was kind of burnt out. And well, but what else will I do? What's next? And I think I was 26. And we're sitting there talking about it. He's like, well, maybe you should go into real estate. And it's like, No, it's just not happening. Because I had been an assistant to an agent in one of these moves. And I'd seen this backbiting industry that was competitive and smarmy, and just know, that ain't my space. And we kept exploring and kept exploring, and we had a good friend actually is in real estate, my husband's like, but you you like houses and you like people, which is not for the record is not a good reason to get into real estate, like, just stop it. Anyway, I was like, okay, fine, I'll go, I'll talk to this friend of ours, he tried to convince me not to do X, it'll be hard, a lot of people

Unknown:

would be in some bad jobs. If that was like, you like this, and you like this. So do this, some people would be in in some crazy jobs if they just followed that kind of order.

Juli Wenger:

So but I kind of got challenged Well, I don't know if you could do it. And this is hard. And that's hard. And I'll show you can't do it. So I started this business that a I'd never run a business, I'd never seen myself as an entrepreneur, I didn't even see this as entrepreneurship, because there's all of these systems and structures and things that are already built. So I just kind of have to show up and take care of people, which I know how to do, right. So I worked my butt off for three, four years. Before I really saw any level of success. I learned everything the hard way, I spent too much money on the wrong things like it was rough. And I made it in spite of myself, I think because I just don't know how to fail. Honestly, it just push and push and push and show up and show up and show up and over time that will turn into something. So I started to find success. But I was really questioning Is this what I want to do. So this is four years into a 10 year career. And that was when I hired my first coach, actually. And it was close to the time that I started this whole start with y journey. And I figured out that maybe I can build this business in a way that is more aligned with who I am. And what my purpose is, instead of doing it the way that everyone else says I'm supposed to. So first little clue into the work I'm doing now, right building a business that serves me and works for me instead of me serving it. So the next four years or so we're really geared around that. And as we did that the business exploded, like in one year, we doubled in size. So that was amazing. I say with air quotes, because I thought it was amazing. I thought that this is what I'm supposed to want. And I'm so focused on how does everyone else see me? And am I successful enough? Do my inlaws think I'm good enough for their son do my peers think I'm good at my job do like just gauging perception management nonstop. And so I'm building this thing. And people are starting to say, Oh, this is really amazing. And good job, pat on the head affirmations like my love language. So I keep doing it. And I keep pushing, and I start growing this team and I start exploring how to be a better leader. And we're having kids in the meantime. And from the outside, it all looks really good. Except that it's not. So I mean, kind of long story short, we get to this point where I have hired and gone through a couple of agents. We've gone through a couple of assistants, I have one amazing that's been with me for a long time at that point. And structurally, the business looks really good. It's got room to grow. Jackson's one Kennedy's, she would have been like five, four. And it's like half a million dollars a year. It's a solid business. Everyone from the outside is looking at me going here so successful. It's so great. How do I do that? And me internally, I am burnt out. And I'm exhausted. And I'm giving myself crap, because this is what I'm supposed to want. And I've built it and I've done it and now I'm here and I don't want it. Like what's wrong with me? Why am I not more grateful? Why am I not happy? I'm supposed to be happy supposed to supposed to supposed to supposed to all day long. That was the beginning of the transition out. I didn't really realize it at the point. But when I look at it in hindsight, I had spent 10 years building something that I never really chose for myself. I'd spent 10 years building something according to other people's measures of success, but because they weren't mine I felt like I was failing at everything, except for making money. And money doesn't make you happy. Money is great. But money is like most of your Yeah, the cost of your mental health or at the cost of breathing room and your life and boundaries, and it's not worth it. So I really had to get clear about, well, what is it that I do want? What are my suppose to is what are my shoulds? And I didn't know, because I had essentially lost myself in the business. And I think honestly, I had kind of lost myself in little ways along the way, in every part of the journey up until that moment of just giving my power away and saying, Okay, well, what does everyone else want me to be my whole life? How does everyone else want me to show up? So asking the question in that moment of, What do I want? I didn't know. There's no context on that. What's next? I don't know. What else would I even do? Like I'm pretty much unemployable after 10 years in this business, you know, like very capable, but in terms of corporate job experience, or something, and being able to work for somebody else? No, not ever happening again. So that was the point for me that I call the career purpose crisis, because midlife crisis doesn't land. And I'm not old enough for that. But where I really was saying, like, is this it,

Unknown:

I feel you that's that's kind of where I've been in the last few years is like, trying to figure out how there's something freeing about being your own boss. And once you've been in both worlds, especially the having your own, like schedule, and being your own boss, it's really hard to go back out of that. Because I think in a way you feel like, you lose a little bit of who you've become. By doing that, when did that thought of coaching and going into, you know, helping others in their times of, you know, business crisis and career crisis or life crisis, when did that kind of start showing up and maybe from real estate Were you able to bring to that,

Juli Wenger:

and we'll start with the second half. First, the real estate piece specifically, I had always structured from a very relationally based perspective of, let's guide you through a journey and a transition, let's make sure that you have the right information to make your own decisions about where you want to go, and what you want your life to look like, let's make sure that you are equipped and empowered to step through this process in a way that creates a better day to day quality of life for you. And that essentially, was me coaching clients through a journey and through a process, it was also from a place of very minimal boundaries. And that was part of the piece that started to lead me towards coaching and kind of a roundabout way. So I had been working with a coach at that point for about four years. And the business was growing. But I was spending so much in my business that was essentially like broke, I wasn't paying myself but I was paying my staff and things were growing and it would come back and whatever. I wasn't managing it. Well, I wasn't stewarding it, well, it just was kind of a mess in the background. So there was this financial empowerment coach that I've been following for a while and I decided to jump into one of her programs like that day before it closed, because I can be impulsive like that. The ended up letting go of my existing coach and stepping into this space, having no idea what I was in for beyond, I'm going to fix my relationship with money so that I don't end up broke again. And maybe then if I can step out of scarcity, then I'll be less burnt out and then everything will be okay. I didn't have context yet on this business is something I need to step out of, I thought I could fix it. So I put myself in this environment and what was magical about it for me. And what has had me creating environments like that, because of this experience was that I was surrounded with these women who saw me in a way that I was not yet capable of seeing myself. They saw how powerful I was, they saw how capable I was they saw my superpowers, I could be real and vulnerable and open with them and they loved me anyway. I had essentially found a safe space where I had some level of belonging. I didn't really believe as a side note, up until that point in this whole collaboration over competition thing I thought that was bullshit. And that was not actually a real thing that people did. So this was a bit of an eye opener for me. So I start working with this coach and we're doing one on one And in combination with group stuff, and we really discovered that I had surrounded myself with what I lovingly call energy vampires. So because my boundaries were so low, and I'm such a giver, and to take care of and a helper, my bat signal to the world was like, come to me, all the needy people, all the people who are committed to their victim space, all of the people who take not because of any kind of ill intention, but because of the mindset space they're in, that's what they know, and how they cope. So I had surrounded myself in so many capacities with people like this, and it was draining me dry. Like if you think about a barrel, and your barrel holds all of your energy, every one of these situations and these relationships that I brought into my life, because it's on me, it was like a big steak that made a hole through the side of the barrel, so my energy would drain out. I couldn't refill it fast enough. So I'm in this position of burnout and anxiety and overwhelm, and I just have no capacity for me. Because I wasn't showing up for me, whoever. And this was impacting not just work, but is impacting home was impacting my marriage was impacting my kids, it was impacting like, all the spaces, because where we are in one place, we are everywhere. So I had to start doing this work around creating boundaries of what am I willing to accept? Who am I willing to work with? What is that going to look like? How do I preset some expectations? Who do I just let go of I started firing clients. And it was funny because agents around me were like, you can do that, like hell, yes, you could do that. Right? Like you work for yourself. So there was this, shedding and creating space. And at the same time, learning to like myself, and developing a bit more of a relationship with myself. And this is where enneagram showed up. So about the same time that I got this idea of coach, which actually first came from my coach, she called me on it just Julie or a coach was like, Well, I don't know. Right? The the enneagram showed up, which gave me a framework for understanding how I'm wired, what was showing up what are some of the things that take me out what are my superpowers was like a giant permission slip to to stop trying to be somebody else to stop trying to be right, I thought everyone else wanted me to be and just to be me.

Unknown:

This kind of like this, this moment of someone's like, it's okay.

Juli Wenger:

This is how God made you. It's okay to go down this path. Yeah, you're like, you're here on purpose built the way you're built, so that you can do what you're supposed to do.

Unknown:

It's so funny, because I add a coach for a while and due to economics, unfortunately, but the one of the few things, you know, you learn is that idea of you can you don't have to take on every client, when you have these intro calls, it is much an interview for them, as it is for you hearing that is so weird that you know, you never like oh, no, you've got to take on every client. Because money, yeah, it's your clients. And the more and the more clients you have, the better you look and all this stuff, it's like,

Juli Wenger:

well, and not only that, but there's this opportunity cost that presents where I talked about this a lot with clients, if you imagine that you have 10 buckets of energy. And one client takes one bucket. If you pull in an energy vampire, you pull in someone who's really misaligned with you, that's not a good client fix, it's not anything to do with they're a good person or bad person or you're a good person or whatever, just they're not the right fit, they're going to take up more than their bucket of energy, which means now you don't have capacity to serve the volume of people that you were intending to serve or that you're meant to serve or any of that. So there is this cost that's associated if we can step out of scarcity thinking and get clarity on that, like, Oh, yeah, I don't, I don't have to do that. I don't have to show up from this place of like push and expectation I can show up and say, let's just get you some clarity about what will move you. And if it's this then you know cool but if it's not, then it's not and that's okay. But it's a complete shift in how we approach and then that shifts who we attract. So I guess to jump back to this whole coach thing, so funny story, I went to a crazy woo retreat. So just to back up the bus a little bit. I am a like, I call myself a Jesus follower instead of a Christian because Christian just has so many crap connotations to it, and too many Christians completely missed the point. So I go to this retreat. That is supposed to be a lie. A new start, we're going to rewire your brain, it's going to be amazing. I'd gone to like a two day event with this woman, like broke me right open. And so I fly off to Oregon, to wine country. And it was the first time I had traveled by myself in my adult life was like 34. That in and of itself is kind of mind boggling to me. But anyway, so go to this thing, totally woowoo I'm like, this woman is not my jam. But I'm going to show up, I'm going to participate and playful out. And not a word of a lie. I cried for the first two days, four days, because I had so much I'd been bottling and carrying for so long. And then I got to really focus in on Who am I and what am I here for? And what do I value? And what am i stepping towards. And I think this is an important kind of side note is that it's not always the coach or the program that quote unquote, fixes you. It's us showing up to do the work. And when you show up to do that in a safe space and supportive community, it amplifies the power of the work. So my transformation in this space, I think was more due to me showing up and being surrounded by people that I didn't have to be anything for. I didn't know any of them. I didn't have to see any of them ever again. was amazing.

Unknown:

Well, you know, I want to say like, right there. That's, I think that's a fantastic stopping place. I think you've said a lot of that I think a lot of people need to hear that over. We're also going through because there's parts of that that I'm going through. And I've been going through for a while and hearing that about really taking stock of those moments, not just like overworking Who am I but who am I in these moments like when someone challenges you? Or when someone says certain things like digging in deep and going okay, why am I feeling this way? Let's stop. Let's take a second. And then how can I build from this and how can I grow from this is incredible. Also, this gives me an opportunity to come back and do this again. So we'll call this like part one with Juli Wenger. And we'll go down some other time with part two. We'll learn more about you but I thank you so much for giving me an opportunity to come and chat with you. This is amazing.

Juli Wenger:

I hope this episode triggered something in you and got you thinking about your next growth curve. Make sure to check out the show notes for more details and links to resources or people that we've mentioned today. And make sure you hit follow or subscribe and if you have a hot minute believe an awesome review. I would be so beyond grateful. Until next time be too much. I dare you