Becoming Ourselves - The Podcast

Don't Let Your Ego Drive the Bus

September 08, 2021 Juli Wenger Season 2 Episode 2
Becoming Ourselves - The Podcast
Don't Let Your Ego Drive the Bus
Show Notes Transcript

We're exploring taking your power back this week with... wait for it... a story from a Children's book. Because growth can be playful, and "Don't Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus" is the perfect story to explore our EGO with.  Stop letting your ego drive the bus.

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Juli Wenger:

You're on this earth for a purpose. You want to live a life that matters. So let's get through the fear and the overwhelmed all the shift that gets in a way of you living a life. You're here for. This is the becoming ourselves podcast or we are fired up about you getting clear on who you are, what you're called to, and how to get there. Because the world is waiting for you to show up and own your power. I'm your host, Juli Wenger, a coach, a speaker, a Jesus lover, an enneagram, two and a tree shape. Let's dive into what's keeping you stuck. Because on the other side is the life that's fired up, fulfilled. Welcome to the first solo episode of season two of becoming ourselves the podcast. This week, we're gonna start off with something a little bit fun, maybe a little facetious. So I'm a mom. And I got two kids that are at home with me, four and seven. And one of the books that we really enjoy reading together, is don't let the pigeon drive the bus. And it's this ridiculous, fun story by mo Willems about this mischievous pigeon, who wants to do stuff that he really shouldn't be doing. And as I'm reading this book, I cannot help myself but draw parallels between the pigeon and your ego. Because remember, your ego I liken to this subconscious four year old that's running around in us trying to drive. For those of you who are parents, you understand the context of a four year old, they've got no sense of the world, they have no sense of social norms, they have no sense of why a lot of things are okay or not, okay. And there's this necessary narcissism that shows up in psychology. And it's very present in this young age range. And what it means is that everything is about them. They haven't learned that there is broader purpose that there's other people that matter as much as what they want matters. They test boundaries. I have a four year old at home, like I just mentioned, and he is the sweetest, fiery little human, and he'll grow up and change the world. And right now, when he wants something, he wants it, he doesn't understand why it's not good for him, he doesn't understand why it's not okay to do things that are dangerous, just doesn't get it. Because this necessary, narcissism is present. So today's episode is all about, don't let your ego drive the bus, much like don't let the pigeon drive the bus. So here's what goes down in this book. So is this bus driver, and the bus driver? Let's pretend as you Okay, the bus driver is a grown up. He knows how to drive. He knows how to keep it safe. He gets the rules of society and social norms, he gets to steer and choose where to go. He gets to decide what direction to point his life. And so the bus driver is like, Hey, I got to take off for a bit. Can you watch things for me till I get back to you? The reader, right? And then this mischievous pigeon shows up? I thought he'd never leave. Because our ego likes to sneak in when we aren't paying attention, right? And then he says, Hey, can I drive the bus, please? So this is where we watch the patterns show up. This is so funny. I'll be careful, convincing. I'll tell you what, I'll just steer. So this is convincing that it's safe. Because remember what the ego wants wants safety, certainty and control. And now we're going to jump into justification. My cousin herb drives a bus almost every day. True story. And then he tries to sneak around. Hey, I got an idea. Let's play drive the bus. I'll go first. And then see what shows up here. This familiar? I'll be your best friend. So we're getting affirmation. We're getting connection. How about I give you five bucks bribery. No fair, I bet your mom would let me know we've got guilt. We've got comparison. What's the big deal more justification I have dreams you know more guilt. It's just a bus minimizing. See how this shows up? This is what our ego does. And then this is probably one of my favorite pages in the whole book just led me drive the bus and it's like this angry angry outburst and sometimes anger shows up for Right when we're not getting what we want, when things aren't quite going right when we're attached to our ego story of how things are supposed to be, and then said bus driver shows back up, and he's like, Hey, you didn't let the pigeon drive the bus Did you thinks, and he takes a wheel back And off he goes. So let's talk about ego. Let's back it up. For those of you who haven't heard me talk about this before, it wants three things, let's really nail this down. certainty definitiveness and control, it wants us to stay the same, it wants us to stay in our existing patterns. And when we're not conscious of it, when we're not conscious of the tools our ego uses, to try to get its way we end up in a situation where we're letting the pigeon drive the bus, we're letting our ego drive our life apart part of us that does not have context on the world. And what we want, and where we're going, that doesn't have context on it's not all about me. It's not all about more and more and more, it's not all about all of those old patterns of needing to prove ourselves, or measure up, prove enoughness we're letting that drive. Which means we're letting our stories that our egos attached to as part of its identity drive, we're allowing patterns that it's attached to drive or letting past experiences subconscious beliefs and rules drive our lives. Your life is the bus. So the question becomes for you, do you want do you choose to allow this part of you this subconscious part of you that had value when you were younger, but you have outgrown, drive the bus. And let's go there for a minute. The subconscious part of you this ego, part of you has purpose. And it had a lot of purpose when you were younger, because we needed to figure out how to get our needs met our needs for safety or needs for love or needs for control our needs for there's a variety of them, right. And so our ego attached to what gets that need met what protects me, what brings in the affirmation, I need what brings in the control, I need what brings in the certainty I need what brings in the variety I need. But the challenges that we grow up. And like this bus driver, we have context on the world and social norms and what we want and where we want to go and what we're capable of how powerful we actually are, how called we actually are. And then we end up playing small because we're off listening to our ego instead of to our higher self. Now look, that grownup version of you doesn't need all this justification. The grownup version of you doesn't need all of us affirmation. The grownup version of you is not dependent upon comparison, or guilt or shame or anger. But we let that stuff show up. Until we do the work. Because it takes an act of detachment, it takes a process of integration that needs to happen between us and our ego. And this is going to battle with our ego. But by going to battle, I mean, pulling it in close, so that it can't reach back and swing out to punch you and gain momentum. We pull it in close when we say Hey, thank you for showing up for me. Thank you for fighting to keep me safe and secure. Thank you for fighting for my needs. But I will not allow you to drive the bus anymore. I will not allow you to take control of my life. Because I am capable and competent and can do that for myself. I can make the decisions I need to make. I can make the choices that I want that take my power back. I can decide when to leverage those pieces of my ego. And when to let it slide. We have to learn to watch for it. Be curious. We get to watch the pigeon popping up going, Hey, here's what I want. I know it's not what you want. I know it's not part of your big picture. I know it's not going to get you to your big long term goal. I don't care. Because I'm for me. And I want where we are. I want to survive. I want to maintain status quo. Because look, changing means your ego kind of dies a little bit. It's attached to the current way of being current way of thinking that you have for survival. So when you change it's like you don't want that Don't know what's on the other side of that I know I'm safe here. That's the part that sticky. That's the part that requires support. That's the part we don't do on our own. Because we're in it. Because it's hard to get context on our way of thinking when it's how we think. It's hard to change our way of being with the same way of being the contributor to our way of being in the first place. Follow. That's where we need outside perspective, to help us shift the way of being to shift the way of thinking so we can get to a different result. So we can take hold of that ego and be like, nope, with all love, no, Hell, no, we're not doing this today. I'm picking something else. I'm standing in my power. I'm taking it back. And I'm going to go conquer the world and live fired up, fulfilled, and free. One last thing. Let's have fun on this journey, we can find inspiration in the most random places. Like, don't let the pigeon drive the bus. Or there's another bus books called the energy bus for kids. There's also an energy bus for adults, which is on my bookshelf, and I have not read it, I'm just gonna own that. But the energy bus for kids is super fun. And the book cover is upside down, y'all. So you want to talk problem solving with littles or have a little giggle as an adult, and just be goofy and lean into that part of yourself. You got to open this book. And it's like, what? Now my little inner perfectionist wing goes a little bit crazy there and I've had to just breathe through it and let it go. And talk about teaching kids to overcome things that are challenging. As we wrap up this week, I gotta say I'm so excited about Season Two and some of the guests we've got lined up. So make sure to follow all the channels and be in all the places you can get updated on everything that is coming atcha I hope this episode triggered something in you and got you thinking about your next growth curve. Make sure to check out the show notes for more details and links to resources or people that we've mentioned today. And make sure you hit follow or subscribe and if you have a hot minute believe an awesome review. I would be so beyond grateful. Until next time be too much Dare you