Becoming Ourselves - The Podcast

Becoming Authentic with Chelsea Bree - Part 2

September 01, 2021 Juli Wenger Season 2 Episode 1
Becoming Ourselves - The Podcast
Becoming Authentic with Chelsea Bree - Part 2
Show Notes Transcript

Season 2 kicks off with Part 2 of our chat with Chelsea Bree!  Just like the Season 1 finale, this episode packed with more thoughts and questions that will have you scratching your head. 

Who are you, and how can you REALLY be an ally?

BIO:
“Flipping the script” is a motto Chelsea has embodied for as long as they could remember. Before Bree was a professional speaker and consultant, they were a dreamer. She painted pictures in her mind of the world around them and how they fit. Since then, she has acted as the Director of Communications for #MakeItAwkward, an anti-discriminatory campaign founded in 2016. In April 2021, Chelsea Bree and Jesse Lipscombe founded Not That Funny Gaming Inc., a tabletop game designed to uncover the damaging truths of microaggressions and “jokes” directed at marginalized groups and individuals.

Chelsea continues her advocacy work through speaking, consulting and collaborating with organizations and individuals to create a feeling of belonging and empathy.


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Website -
https://notthatfunny.store/
Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/chelseabreesjourney/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/chelsea.bree.gouchey
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelseabree/


CONNECT WITH ME
Instagram | Clubhouse | Facebook: @juliwenger
https://www.juliwenger.com/

Juli Wenger:

You're on this earth for a purpose. You want to live a life that matters. So let's get through the fear and the overwhelm the knowledge shift that gets in a way you can you living a life. This is the becoming ourselves podcast. So we are fired up about you getting clear on who you are, what you're called to, and how to get there. Because the world is waiting for you show up and own your power. I'm your host, Juli Wenger, a coach, a speaker, a Jesus lover in enneagram, two and a tree shape. Let's dive into what's keeping you stuck. Because on the other side is the life that's fired up, fulfilled. And we're back with Chelsea Bri this week. And we're gonna dive right back in where we left off. If you didn't catch last week's episode, make sure to hit pause, go back and listen to it first. Because there's so much there that is going to be foundational for the conversation that we're continuing to have. So let's move into more of this identity and becoming conversation, shall we? Well, let's fast forward to becoming an activist. And stepping into that space. Tell us a little bit about what really made that shift happen for you.

Unknown:

Yes, I'm actually really glad that you asked that question. Because I've been avoiding answering this question or I've always done it in a very inauthentic, I guess, wait, because I think you can relate to this. Julie can actually ask you are your pronouns she her? Do you use them? Okay, and you identify as a sis woman? Um, no, I'm actually just going through my phone contacts. And I always ask, and then I just put it in my phone, my email, let's even so I know. Oh, and sorry. Before I move on to the I just wanted to make a I want to help you with your speech, hopefully, if you'll let me Caucasian. And I think just if I remember Jesse actually maybe taught you this as well. But Caucasian refers to the caucus region. So what that means geographically, is it It refers to a very specific region right by Turkey. And it's really just mountains. And what's ironic is I think they actually typically have a actually no way to say that it's a very white skin complexion. So when people say Caucasian, it is actually a well, I don't interpret it as a racial racist slur, but it is by definition. Caucasian was always meant to categorize people and Caucasians are seen as the purest, the widest, the most beautiful. And that's why we have this idea of beauty being you have blue eyes, and you have blonde hair, and you have white white skin. And you know, there's even a specific height and a specific body structure that makes you beautiful. And then what happened was they started to categorize people like now I can't remember the specific terms there was for but Negro, for example, is a word that we would never we would typically would never use today unless under a very specific political context. But if we don't think Negro, we shouldn't say Caucasian because it was it's so outdated. So you're white, fully understand that nobody is actually white the same way that nobody's actually black but nobody's it. We're all shades of no brown or beige, don't really know. But, peach, let's see. But I think for translation purposes moving forward, it makes more sense to just say you're white, because people actually don't like their weight. Because really, if you say that you're black, that means that you're so different. So why shouldn't the opposite of black be white? It is it's not. Sorry. And I know, I didn't want that to be rude. yet.

Juli Wenger:

I am here for it all day long.

Unknown:

Okay. And I know that you were asking me about how I became an activist. Okay, so. So the patriarchy is why I haven't shared the story. Because if I talked about Jesse Lipscomb in a way that not idolized him, but even acknowledges him that he's part of my journey. I didn't want women or anybody to attack me. I didn't want them to throw threats at me to say, I mean, I'm, we're also very, very good friends. I'm fully aware of his family's situation, his home life. I mean, people don't need to know that we're also friends, but we are. So the cruel messages that I've received. Because of course, it's was just a theory. And I actually haven't realistically ever put it out there that Jesse Lipscomb has changed my life in the way that he has, and he, in a lot of ways saved my life, too. Now, that's a very bold statement to say. Now if you say that as a woman, or somebody perceived as a woman, and especially somebody younger, and somebody disabled somebody indigenous, like there's so many factors where it's like, oh my god, people are gonna think the worst and Sure enough, without me even putting it out there, I was getting the worst messages from women saying that I was. Well, I'm sure you can imagine, but they're all the microaggressions that we hear in the workplace. Oh, you were sleeping your way up to the top. Oh, your God, I shouldn't make a Monaco's zelinsky reference, but it really turned into a, what are you doing wrong? Why would you put yourself in this position? You know, he's using you like just the most cruel assumptions from women who I had never spoken to in my life, or from people who I thought genuinely knew me. And that's what really hurt, I'm talking about loved ones, I'm talking about friends. They didn't understand this newfound interest in anti racism, because it really has been almost a special interest to me in the last year. If you want the real truth, I thought I was ignorant or naive enough to think that I understood racism, but I didn't actually know the concept of being anti racist. Because if you experienced racism, you you know how that feels. First of all, you can empathize with other people. And you, you think you know how to react and you think you know, the other person, you say, Oh, my God, that person doesn't know me. But there's such a piece of crap for even thinking about that. But then you kind of move on with your life, you don't really know how to be compassionate. And that's really using empathy and on your cognitive skills. So maybe you said Caucasian, but I know you as a person. And I can already tell from this, just like short discussion that we've had, that you're a good person, you see more, there's more? Well, it's not even good and bad. It's really there was one slight negative, I guess that you it was an error in conversation. But I know that there's so much more positive about you. So why don't I just get you to that level? And then that makes sense. You're just everyone's a better person moving forward? Because I already know I have learned already so many things from you. And this, I don't know how many, how 40 minutes 40 minute discussion. But so that was the main purpose of why I hadn't been talking so much about so much about Jesse in particular. But, you know, even just reading the first anti anti racism, both I guess my definition was, so you want to talk about race. The more that I learned, the more that the more knowledge, essentially, essentially, that I realized I didn't have access to the more I want to learn. So if I learned something about the sorry, the like school to prison pipeline, you know, essentially how black youth have black students end up in school, and then they are expelled at higher rates, they're suspended at higher rates, they don't actually do. They don't actually do as well. Sometimes, you know, on tests on learning, but if there's nothing biologically different than a black from a black student, compared to a white student, for example, well, why are we seeing that all the black students or disabled students or maybe disabled and black students get even worse test grades? Why is there a difference? And what are we doing to actually help them? So you know, it was, I don't want to say obsession, but it almost it almost turned into a learning compulsion for me, I could not stop learning. But I also knew when I could almost put a lid on my learning. So I'm kind of random example, like astrophysics, I learned at a young age, but I really only learned a couple chapters. And I said, Okay, well, yeah, I get that there's a whole universe out there. But that's actually overwhelming for me to think about. There are so many planets, and you know, different moons and stars, whatever. So I can't even learn all that because it would overwhelm me. But I typically learn until I'm satisfied. So for feminism, for example, I understood that that what I was taught that that meant that women should be treated as men. That's, that's not the definition of feminism. Because if women were treated with equal rights, and what equal rights means is equal rights to men. First of all, we're forgetting about all the people that fall out of the binary in between the binary people who are men, but they're only actually being inauthentic men, and maybe we actually identify some other way. And to be honest, if I was being treated how I was a man it still doesn't make sense because we're still operating on this whole system of patriarchy where people are oppressed. So we can't just say people should be treated equally No no, we need to talk about every single system of oppression every single privilege that we have every single Yeah, just identity I guess that we hold which is why your destination sorry, in your journey is so important is helping other people find their identity but also empowering them. Because if I'm scared to talk about my identity, I won't. But then I don't realize that there's so many other people that think like me, that feel like me that interpret the world in the way that I do. I didn't even know that Twitter's specific podcast existed because all the other podcasts that I listened to on Tourette Syndrome, gave me inaccurate information and it was hurtful. It wasn't even it was false. And it was mean, so I actually wasn't inspired to look much further for another podcast by did I'm so thankful that I found the trek podcast run by the Trade Association of America. So I'm going to reach out to you, you know, all these other people that I didn't even know existed because there's an Icelandic tretter, who's also a comedian who also is just living his happiest life and helping other people find, you know, their journeys. And I think that's amazing. And he changed my life, just listening to his 30 minute podcast episode, and now I'm gonna reach out to him. And now I have another connection. I think that's so cool. But if we don't know that, then how are we supposed to form some of the best connections that we can actually form in life? I also realized I still haven't fully answered your question. Essentially, it came down to a lot of learning. Yes, he found me We crossed paths through mutual friend at a very pivotal moment in my life, I could actually visually see two paths that I was gonna take. And one was a lot of masking when it was a lot of being invisible. When was a lot of I mean, I didn't even have a truck diagnosis, whatever that means. So self diagnosis, I guess, until I think six months ago, what Jessie did was, he asked he, I'm sorry, everyone asked about my tics, because people can tell when I'm moving my body, obviously, in a way that they don't recognize. But that's when they saw they say, Charles, what's that, and then automatically, it's like, my heart is up against the ball, because I want to defend myself and I go, Oh, my, I'm cold, I'm, I'm anxious, I'm stressed, whatever. And that's actually why a lot of traders, similar to a lot of autistic folks, similar to actually a lot of neurodivergent. Folks, we do a really good job masking up. Because if I have a tick, it started when I was a child. And it's really interesting when I think about my tics, because when they happen, I don't actually have eye tics anymore, but it always it all, almost always starts with children with their eyes. And that's why a lot of parents will say, Are you having trouble seeing Do you need to go to the eye doctor, some children will convince themselves that they must have an eye problem, because my parents are coming to the doctor. And the parent knows best. So maybe I need glasses, and then they wear glasses, but they might actually have Tourette or they might have a tic disorder, or they might be suppressing emotions from something you know, having at home or in their school life or whatever. People don't ask enough questions. That's the problem. They make all these assumptions, which we've talked about. But um, yeah, so sorry, I had these two paths, which I think probably represent the words that we have trouble saying so authenticity, and enough authenticity.

Juli Wenger:

Nailed it. You just need to think about it.

Unknown:

In one pass, I think was safer. But it was so so sad. It was I don't know how much longer I had in that life. I honestly don't. And it wasn't because I was sad in a tight end. But I think a lot of people experienced this feeling of sadness and hopelessness. And it was it was so much more intense, because I remember actually thinking that nobody would ever understand me. So when Jesse's asked me, what's that tick? Okay, no, wait, but why do you do that? Well, and that was like that confused? Me. So I'm like, Well, okay, we'll still it's probably a stressor, it's probably over, maybe I'm excited, or whatever he's like, right. Okay. But how do you feel? Well, no one's ever asked that before, I guess what happens is really, it sounds silly to explain at the time. But now I know, it's a very legitimate and feeling that every trader has, it's a pressure build up. So for me, it happens in my chest. But for other traders, it might happen in other parts of their body, but it is a it is an intense pressure build up. So if I asked you to keep your eyes wide, wide, wide open, and then to not blink for 60 seconds, for example, you're always going to be wanting to think about your eyes, you're always going to want to be thinking about blinking. And the only feeling of being satisfied that you will typically have to blink your eyes. It's the same when you have a scratch, you're always thinking about scratching. That's very similar to how I experienced a tick. And I think a lot of people, not even in the tech community, just if you have tics, sometimes it can just be I mean, sometimes it's just a reaction, and I don't even realize I'm doing it. But a lot of the time there is something behind it. And it is very much a pressure build up. And the other thing that even Jesse didn't realize because I wasn't explaining right, and he didn't even know this specific question to ask, but they have it in my head too. They're called cognitive tics. So sometimes they will literally blink out in conversations. I also have severe ADHD so people would always write it off. It's okay. She's spacey and people who present as women they also get perceived as spacey and ditzy and chatty. Cathy. Yeah, you're What? You know, all of these. I was gonna ask well, so

Juli Wenger:

I mean, here's my story is I'm not going to jump into the weeds on this, but it runs in my family. So my brother's diagnosed, add my dad's diagnosed, I don't remember if it's add as well or ADHD. I am sure that I'm on the spectrum. I also refuse to get tested. Who has I don't want to buy into this story. Use around ability and disability on that. And it's not been so significant that I haven't figured out how to cope and set up systems and do things. But it's like there is something different about how I process how I think how I function. Yeah. And that's an interesting way and that's okay. Oh, no, totally.

Unknown:

Um, I'm just trying to think because when I think about, you know, being a traitor, people will say, Oh, are you having a bad day today? Or Oh, your Tourette's is like, really showing or something. And I thought that was so funny. It's only It's not like I actually like have a backpack full of Tourette's or like a person. I just pull out my like Tourette's handcut. And there's a flashing neon sign. Yeah, level today. Yeah, exactly. And that's, um, what a lot of people don't know like about autism, for example, there's actually no high functioning and low functioning autism. Like somebody like Sheldon Cooper, they think that's a high level of autism. No, if you put him in a situation where he is stressed, that is low functioning, sometimes autism, so that's why autistic people, they want to be called a autistic person. Typically, sometimes, for me, a treader actually means so much because my brain is different. neurologically, I'm different. It always is with me. For me, I actually think about ADHD the same way To be honest, because I know that I have strengths with my ADHD, I really do. Because the my ability to hyper focus and to move from conversation to conversation and well to talk nonstop, as you can see, it's, it is very good. But I kind of always still think about it as my whole identity. And I guess why I say that is I'm still very aware of the times where it is somewhat debilitating, I think the ability because I'm also comfortable saying I'm disabled, but I can recognize when I have so many thoughts in my head, and when I want to get it all down into a novel, and I want to get it all down at once. And it will be what I want to do with all my heart all day. And then I just won't because I procrastinate. And I think there's so many other things that I shouldn't be doing that don't even make sense. So like, yeah, yeah. superpower some days, I don't know, sometimes it's almost like, just the struggle. And then because Jesse's also spoken about, you know, his experience with ADHD. We also experienced ADHD very, very differently just from being you know, assigned a female birth being assigned male at birth, ADHD presents very, very differently. The term add what people view as add, it's actually what I learned a very sexist term because add, typically we get diagnosed with women. So women are typically seen as being spacey, they can't connect thoughts, but actually, our minds are actually just running very, very fast. And sometimes we are, I think that people can like put it all together, but boys growing up, and this is also why girls don't get diagnosed as quickly. And as a parent, they're seen as ditzy. If a boy is acting that way. they're seen as hyper. they're seen as having too much energy, they're seen as creative and Okay, get them involved in sports, get them involved in creativity. Girls, you typically, a lot of teachers, a lot of parents, though, right off, or a lot of doctors might even misdiagnosed for that reason. I understand that Miss diagnoses have been everywhere. But there is data to show that girls really do get the brunt of diagnosis problems because even getting to a doctor sometimes it's hard. Like it's, there's just so many, again, systems of oppression. at play here. If you're a woman living on reserve, and a doctor is four hours away, you need to tell your family why you need access to a car if you didn't have a car while you're going maybe your family doesn't actually believe that and this isn't specific to indigenous reserves of course, but maybe they don't actually believe that you should have an abortion maybe they shouldn't, you know that you should get birth control things like that. So this is why you know, sexism, like just everything. It's all just that vote so I'm glad that you even have a moment with me that you share that you have ADHD because now I know that moving forward and now I can better communicate I think with you so that's good.

Juli Wenger:

Well, there's something about superpowers there were the things that we are really innately good at the ways that we're wired and you know, I believe that we're all put on this earth with purpose or purpose and that we we have some of these things because they support us living that purpose. And when I look at the the ADHD spectrum, there is a super power there that I really think I draw some of my warp speed get shit done from totally and that I can take all of these random little bits and bounce around and that can work but like with all superpowers, no one we're looking at, you know the identity piece of that and how I like to see it or how I teach about it. Anything that we over attach to anything that is over done. That's when it starts to take us out. So when we end up way far On one side of the pendulum, it just becomes so much for assistance. It's like overwhelming shutdown. Yeah, do exactly the same thing to procrastinating that I should do this, I want to do this, like I really want to write a book, right? But the brain feels so big. That it's just like, I don't know how I could. So I just put it off. And I will get myself through that because I've intentionally put myself in containers where I get coached. And I can work through that and be called up and called out on my crap, essentially. But I think whether we're dealing with ADHD or we're dealing with other you know, physical things, psychological things, and just innate wiring, right, like I'm a total enneagram nut, and I love the personality assessments. I love the numbers. I can already guess I'm a to Oh, crap. Okay, sorry. What word is that? That's a helper. Okay, or a B friend?

Unknown:

or? Yeah, I'm a I'm an achiever. I'm number three, but also like, no way, I almost did it in an authentic way. Cuz I did it. Well, first of all, Jesse was in the room. So right away, that's almost like a bias, because I might answer differently, even if I think I'm, you know, being honest. So I almost want to do it again, I had a couple other numbers that were very, very close, like I don't eat was one of them.

Juli Wenger:

Well, and the tests are only, like, 80% accurate. I haven't seen them be wrong a lot. But it's like it's a data point. And then there's a self exploration journey that goes along with it. But I look at you know, even how we're wired from that perspective, and what are the things that we're after, and the things that we avoid, and the natural defense mechanisms that show up all of that, if you're a three, if you're an achiever type, it's not that surprising that you would have bought into everyone else's stories about who you're supposed to be when you grow up. Exactly, you know, and masking and all of that is like being a chameleon. And then there's just over attachment that happens to this chameleon self protective pattern because of the layering in a nutshell. But you layer in I mean, this is the reality, right? You layer in Tourettes you layer in the non binary, you layer in the indigenous, like, there's all of these complicating factors. Okay, it makes me kind of pissed off that they are considered complicating factors or that they're, you know, that we even have to have that conversation, but in our society, they are right. So then it's like, Okay, how do I show up so that I can prove my enoughness? Despite all of these things that are stacking up, quote, unquote, against me? Yeah. Compared to the societal norms of who I'm supposed to be?

Unknown:

Yeah, because you said it with enoughness. My weakness is worthiness. Mm hmm. I do want to prove my worth. And you can understand that I think even in moments of a conversation of me, you know, shooting for sport, scholarship, awards, trophies, whatever, that didn't actually mean anything to me. To be honest, I just wanted to be the best. But why did I want to be the best, I actually just wanted others to see me as the best. Yeah. Now, when I look back on my life, I didn't realize how much I wasn't helping to be honest. Because if I write up and right now, I probably have four different book ideas. And maybe normally I would have waited till I wrote the book, and put that on Instagram. And I said, look at this, I created a book. And you know, a few months ago, I, you know, started up a business for the first time and before that, okay, then I became an activist, and this is most people, they might think that's because I'm very, I don't really know, good at living or something. But know, a lot of that actually is influenced by ADHD. But I'm normally actually putting the positive end of ADHD because really, I'm looking at all these projects. Yes, I had heart obviously, in every single one of my projects, but I also just move quickly, I get bored. Sometimes I only really work quickly. Also, with projects that I'm passionate about with people that I'm passionate about with change, they can actually see happening. If a person hasn't given me the time of day, then I can't see them improving, you know, their lexicon or their empathy potentials. Like I just move on. But if I don't also say that, you know what, this book actually resulted in me going through this whole journey that was actually painfully hard at times. It led to Okay, kind of a sense of freedom, to be honest, because that's what identity always was for me. But no, it had the worst parts of ADHD to where I couldn't even write I would have taken fits sometimes I can't even type because of my tics. So I actually need to speak to that have the computer translate, and I had to learn all that just in the last you know, month because I just realized, like, I sometimes I have phonetic tics and I can't speak so I need to adjust and type. So it's ridiculous Actually, it's hilarious, but but it's also very hard. And I want people to know that part of it too, to know the struggles know, the tears to know when things actually weren't that good when I was throwing up because my anxiety actually does get that bad that I feel hurt in my stomach to the point where I throw up also because of one of my tics that I has as a child I used to quench my abdomen er, I used to kind of have a plank, but like for a very long time during school essentially think of it that way. That messes up a lot of shredders. Yeah, digestive system or stomachs, essentially. So we actually throw up more. I didn't know that. But that makes complete sense. Whenever I have anxiety I'm normally throwing up. So things like that. Maybe I don't need to say, Oh, I have Tourette's and now I throw up. But no, really what happens is I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety for whatever reason, and yeah, one of my symptoms is I throw up more than probably most people. And then people will say, Chelsea, you also lose weight. Well, and they're proud of me, right? Because that's the other thing people think losing weight and looking thin. And presenting is whatever Beautiful, beautiful, you know, means that person means happy. But no, I actually lost a lot of weight because I struggled a lot. Really, that represents my anxiety journey. Yeah, I haven't really happy moments too. And I'm happier being the size that I am now. But I'm happier because of me, because I went through all that. And I know how I did it. But I don't want you to I don't want anyone to assume that it was a happy process. It was an easy process. And it was a process that I did. Even initially, for the right reasons. It wasn't about me, it was for others. So I need to say that because that's the honest truth. I can't just, you know, upload the bikini pictures saying, Oh, my God, look at me now. Because that was really just nephew, Chairman, one that made me feel insecure. So and that's not a good reason. Anything.

Juli Wenger:

Yeah. So as we're kind of wrapping this up today, with like, say, with not that funny, and some of the work that you're doing now, what is your, your hope for say, like the next year in terms of what kind of change might happen? Or what kind of awareness might come out of it? Yeah, so

Unknown:

that's even changed for me, because now I have a better direction. Essentially, we finished off that funny and I said, Oh, now what, okay, not that funny itself is going to be a gaming Corporation. So there's going to be not that funny, we already have a new idea for this dice game coming up. That is really fun. We already have, you know, expansions, or even other funny, it's the base game. But we have, we can do a queer pack, we can teach about ableism, we can teach about, you know, gender discrimination, but let's go a little bit more into it. There's all these other areas that we haven't even approached invisible disability, I think would be a really good one. So there's that. But also, I think within all this, I realized that I was kind of naively working towards a journey. And I wasn't even really sure about the process of how to get there. Well, or maybe I didn't know the process, because really, I just see a world where we can be human. And you know what, maybe I don't even need to have a name in the way that is English. I can have like some clunking noise, or I don't really know why. Or maybe I don't have a name. But the point is, like I genuinely I think, like a lot of people do. When people say, Chelsey, we're all human? Why do you need to talk about identity? No, I get that, like, I'm actually on the same page. I want to never talk about my identity in a way that makes me feel oppressed, but I want to talk about it in a way that, you know, makes me makes me feel empowered, like, like your journey is. So I think a lot of that falls within the mental health aspect. Because I think there's a reason why people aren't proud to say that they're indigenous. I mean, I know there is I wasn't proud to say I was indigenous, and then sometimes I'm not even proud. I pick and choose the conversations and the people and the groups that I am uncomfortable disclosing information to, I am a bit different because on the make it offer page, sometimes I will literally put it all out there. But that's also kind of when I'm able to shut down my feelings. I know that if somebody makes fun of my Tourette, for example, and I don't even know the person. Okay, that's just a cruel, you know, online comment or and I can't even really visualize them as a person. But I mean, like, in a way they are. But

Juli Wenger:

that's kind of why they're making the comment, right? Because there's this dehumanization that happens when we don't actually see each other. Right,

Unknown:

exactly. So maybe if we're gonna dehumanize me, then it's a safety element for me to dehumanize you back because that's how I have to almost process it. Okay. Well, you obviously had either a really bad day, or maybe there's some traumas maybe there's this whole other Well, there is there's a whole other backstory about this person that I'm trying to communicate through with on a screen which in itself, sometimes I've troubles with, because I don't understand text tone, I get really bad at like understanding when friends are being sarcastic or when it's my turn to like, you know, stop talking, I guess, again, you can see, but so yeah, I want to put it all out there. But also I want to help I want to help others get there be comfortable. It's actually ridiculous when I look at how our journeys are almost like our destinations are the same. Because if people aren't empowered, if people aren't comfortable talking about all of these unique, but empowering things, then it doesn't get talked about then I wouldn't have even known that you had ADHD until we actually even had the zoom conversation till halfway through the point. You know, I'm not saying that I had to know that you're a two but I know what that means. So I'm probably even going to look up exactly what it means. So next time when we talk, I know what your weaknesses are your strengths, your vulnerabilities, all these things, but also what you're really good at is maybe there's something in the workplace, and I say we'd Julie probably know something that I don't know. And I can offer her something I know I can because I'm also really good at what I do in you know, my interests. So I think it's important to learn about these different journeys people's idea of happiness, people's strengths, people's vulnerabilities, then we actually form connections, because what are we doing when we're just saying that we're fine when we're not fine? So it all really comes down to mental health. I want to know how you feel. So I don't even ask people how they are anymore. I say what's on your mind? Because if people hear that, then they almost get a reaction. They're like, Oh, my God, do you actually care what I'm thinking like, right? In this moment? Yeah, that's what I always meant when I said, How are you? Or sometimes we say, What are you doing? And I don't actually mean, what are you doing? I just mean like, What are you thinking? What's going on your life? Like? How can I help? But then you have to, you have to actually ask, How can I help? or What can I do that would help you? That's what really matters, because how I would help in this situation would be how I would help me, but probably not you. So what do you need? So it's all about I think, helping identity. So I'm still obviously gonna be an indigenous person. Because I'm indigenous. That means I'm indigenous activists, because by definition, that's part of my identity. I mean, I can't really not call out people, I can't see injustice and just, you know, go about my life. So I'm always going to be an activist, I think every single day, every single moment, but it's kind of just what I bring to the table, I guess, in that certain moment, who I want to build a connection with, who I see potential, I can already know that maybe you learn something from this particular podcast, and you might actually, you know, take that knowledge with you elsewhere. And then that's how change happens. That's how empathy is built. It is ripples it literally, that's how it's translated. So that's what kind of puts my mind at ease. If I know that Julie is going to teach to other people. The difference between Caucasian and white, then I've done my job today, I'm happy so. So it's a bunch of small steps leading to a greater purpose, I suppose. But I don't really know how I get there. My Instagram, if you see I'm struggling on the words that mean anything to me that mean my identity, because it's so hard to choose words that are like, Okay, this is me. But it's largely going to be shifted on I think, changing my social media for a large part. So doing more lives, explaining how I think because it is I have noticed that it's sometimes different than the way others think and just being honest, being authentic. Talking about the goods. Yeah, that's important. Because if I have Tourette, I don't want you to take me not seriously, I don't want you to, you know, pity for me or think that I'm a sad case. Somebody asked if they could pray for me once. And that really confused me because I'm not religious. So I don't I didn't actually understand what they were offering. And then why would their God be the same as my god? Even if I did have one? And why do you think you have to pray me away really, because that's what my dread is, you're actually just telling me that I don't belong in this world. So don't pray for me, just, you know, include me make me feel like I belong. But also, let's, let's not forget about everybody else that looks like me, that represents me because they matter to. So that's my purpose, if that makes sense.

Juli Wenger:

Thank you so much for taking time for us today. Oh, of course, to talk with all of us and be transparent and vulnerable. And that's been really eye opening. Like we could probably talk all day, but we could definitely circle back. So I appreciate you. And I appreciate you sharing and challenging and doing the work that you're doing. So we'll definitely drop some links in the show notes. Make sure that people can follow what are you up to and checkout? Not that funny. It's gonna be awesome. I'm really excited for you.

Unknown:

Thank you so much. Yeah, or online platform will be up and running, like did actually buy the pre order? Probably shake. So yeah, that'll be good. Thank you. And we'll circle back and we'll have another conversation. I hope I can be a guest and then another time so we can talk.

Juli Wenger:

Amazing. Thank you so much for joining us for this conversation. I am humbled. And I'm inspired. And I cannot wait to see what value Chelsea continues to bring to the world. I hope she's challenged you a little bit. No, I have definitely learned some things. The word Caucasian probably won't slip out again. Because now I have this new context. And that was part of what I was so excited about with bringing her on is she's always willing to challenge language and to back it up with real understanding of what is the history of words, and we can all do that work together. So thank you to Chelsea. And for all of you listening, this is your loving reminder to continue to often this is your reminder, whether it is in a racist space and anti racism work, or if you were dealing with a patriarchy and you're dealing with gender bias, or you're dealing with ablest issues, to stay connected, to stay curious to stay critical, and to continue to do the work because it's going to take all of us showing up continually to really shift to a space of more empathy. And more compassion that we can all just show up and be humans living our authentic experience. All my love and ritual. I hope this episode triggered something in you and got you thinking about your next growth curve. Make sure to check out the show notes for more details and links to resources or people that we've mentioned today. And make sure you hit follow or subscribe. And if you have a hot minute, leave an awesome review. I would be so beyond grateful. Until next time, be too much. I dare you