The Becoming Ourselves Podcast

Stop Waiting

April 09, 2021 Juli Wenger Season 1 Episode 31
The Becoming Ourselves Podcast
Stop Waiting
Chapters
The Becoming Ourselves Podcast
Stop Waiting
Apr 09, 2021 Season 1 Episode 31
Juli Wenger

 For the last couple of weeks, I've have been working on springtime cleanup. I have been raking off the dead grass, I have been clearing, moving snow, circulating mulch, pruning, leaf blowing, and clearing all of this deadness and layers of dead old plant growth that sit on top of and block new growth. And what's so interesting to me about this, is how nature reflects our own personal journeys. What is blocking your new growth?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Book a Fear to Freedom  Consult Call  with Juli:  https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=19410531&appointmentType=13872740

Becoming Ourselves The Summit https://www.juliwenger.com/becomingourselvesthesummit

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Instagram: @juliwenger

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LinkedIn: Juli Wenger 

Website: https://www.juliwenger.com/

Show Notes Transcript

 For the last couple of weeks, I've have been working on springtime cleanup. I have been raking off the dead grass, I have been clearing, moving snow, circulating mulch, pruning, leaf blowing, and clearing all of this deadness and layers of dead old plant growth that sit on top of and block new growth. And what's so interesting to me about this, is how nature reflects our own personal journeys. What is blocking your new growth?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Book a Fear to Freedom  Consult Call  with Juli:  https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=19410531&appointmentType=13872740

Becoming Ourselves The Summit https://www.juliwenger.com/becomingourselvesthesummit

CONNECT WITH ME

Instagram: @juliwenger

Facebook: - ww.facebook.com/becomingourselvespodcast

LinkedIn: Juli Wenger 

Website: https://www.juliwenger.com/

Juli Wenger:

This week we're talking about seasons. And we're gonna get to why that's important in a minute. But first, I want to lay some groundwork. The last couple of weeks we have been working on springtime cleanup. We have been raking off dead grass, we have been clearing, snow mauled, we've been moving snow, we have been circulating mulch, we've been pruning we've been leaf blowing, we've been clearing all of this deadness and layers of dead old plant growth that sit on top of and block new growth. And what's so interesting to me about this is how nature reflects our own personal journeys, about how we accumulate these layers of insulation are these layers that are old dead growth. That part of our work is to remove and get out of the way, so that there's room for new growth so that there's room for new expansion, so that there's room for those new little blades of grass to poke their way through without getting suffocated, smothered, and dying before they ever show up and become part of us. So let's circle back to this season of waiting. We've all been waiting. We've been waiting for COVID to be over. We've been waiting for immunisations, we've been waiting for some kind of return to a sense of normalcy. We've been waiting for jobs to come back. I had an Amazon driver show up this week. And we were sitting outside and I asked him how he was doing and who was complaining about doing the work that he was doing, I need to get back up north doing the work that I actually enjoy doing the work that I want to be doing. And it was an interesting little moment of Okay, Juli, it's not our job to change his erspective on the world, but eflective of where I think a ot of people are at, they're rustrated, they're waiting for ome sort of external solution o help them shift out of verwhelm, to help them get nstuck, to help them build some ind of momentum. We've all been aiting for something. So hether it's fear that's been howing up, or it's been a ersion of like, overwhelm and eeling stuck, many of us have eveloped a commitment to aiting. And we're gonna throw his one on its head today ecause we are in a new season. nd here's the deal. If you have een listening to the podcast or any length of time, you know hat I do not believe in magical eset buttons. Full stop. It's ot a thing. January 1 is not reate a space where everything efore has disappeared, and we ove on in some magical new land f fresh starts. Same thing with easons. However, seasons are an nvitation to pivot or to shift r to create some new momentum nd to move forward differently, o make little tweaks, while cknowledging everything that as come before integrating that llowing that to be part of us. his season change is about aking off the layers and about hoosing to stop waiting. There re things that are out of our ontrol, I get that we've talked bout that before and then iving your power away episode. nd you're choosing to continue aiting for life to magically and you opportunity or chances r ways to move forward is eeping you stuck. This can be a eason if you'll allow it of rowth and momentum. Look, I'm one waiting. I get caught in his too sometimes, especially ith a business that is still in tartup phase. Where's the omentum? And here's the uestion I've been asking myself nd then I want to ask you to sk yourself, if you're ready to tep through the fear and be one waiting? What if what I'm aiting for, wait for it is lready here. What if what I'm aiting for is all ready here. ecause our commitment to being tuck in our commitment to being verwhelmed or to needing omething to change is all based n scarcity and fear. We get to ook at the other side. We get o evaluate the truth of the carcity. We get to evaluate the ruth of the waiting. What if hat I want is already here. Now ere's the clarifying question. hat is it that you want Because often when we're stuck, and we're overwhelmed, and we feel like we want something to change, and we're waiting for something outside of us, we don't even know what we want. So here's actually the first question, what is it that you want? And the second question is, what if what I want is already here? Where can I find proof of it? In my life? If you want more connection, if you get clarity on that, I really feel disconnected and I want more connection, then the work for you is to start looking at your life and say, Where do I have it? And where am I sabotaging myself having it? Where am I getting in my own way? Where am I letting those layers of dead growth get in the way of new growth? Where am I letting that insulation block me from the things that I say I want so that you can move it out of the way. We're gonna bad dad joke this right now. So you can rake it out of the way. So you can clear it. So you can take the power brush on the lawnmower to it, whatever it is that needs to happen, get it out of the way. If you want more financial freedom right now, what is it that you want? How do you already have it? And are there ways that you're sabotaging yourself having financial breathing room? Are you numbing? Are you shopping to try and avoid difficult conversations or feelings or emotions? And actually sabotaging your financial breathing room? Do you want to be healthier? stronger? Where does health already show up for you? How is your body already showing up for you? And where are you getting in your own way? You see the theme here? Is Do you know what you want? How does it already exist in your life because it does in some capacity, I guarantee you, it might feel like a small capacity, but it does exist. And part of the importance of this is to know and to notice and to find where it already exists. So you can latch on to that. So that you can see the little successes so that you can find the momentum. So that you can take the blinders off of this feeling stuck and overwhelmed and waiting and say, Okay, hold on. This already exists over here. And then to get really curious about how am I stopping myself from having the things that I actually want. It's time to choose something else. being committed to being stuck is a choice. being committed to being overwhelmed is a choice. Momentum is literally waiting on your doorstep, you've probably already been building some of it. But the key is to get out of your own damn way. So let's touch quickly on how exactly do I get out of my own way. Because there's a certain amount of pattern interruption saying stop it, choose something different. That can work. When we're dealing with that stuff, there is a certain amount of I'm going to write a big giant sticky and put it on the wall that says overwhelm as a choice. and expect that to help me start to reframe this, or to put up notes to yourself that everything is for you and waiting as a choice and that you're done waiting, you can do all sorts of things like that. And it goes beyond internal motivation. Because internal motivation is great when you have energy, and your mind sets in a good space. But it doesn't stay sustainable. And it's not enough. When you start to get tired. When you're already in an overwhelmed and stuck space. You may have a moment. I knew may have that moment right now while you're listening to this going like oh hell, she's right. being committed to being stuck is a choice. And I have been committed to being stuck. So I'm gonna stop it now. That's great. But what is going to keep you stable in that when you're exhausted and you've had a rough day and something has triggered those stuck emotions in you? What happens when you start to default back to your old patterns? Because that's what we do. As humans, we default back to our old patterns until our new ones are strong enough to be easy to jump into. Until we become a good enough observer, a strong enough observer of ourselves in our own patterns to be able to see them and say I'm not doing that. So what to do Well lean into your toolkit, there's a few things that we've talked about before one is breath, and helping get yourself back to neutral, slowing down the breathing, breathing through your nose, taking time to help get your nervous system regulated and back to neutral. Another one is rest. Are you taking time to be not to numb, but to be? Are you taking time to reflect, to put things into journal to go move some energy, some people really come back alive and come back to themselves hitting a punching bag. Other people really love to go for a run other people love to be by themselves in nature, what is that, that allows you to connect with yourself and to move your body. And other people, like, let's get real here, we cannot always see our own blind spots. And we can't always motivate ourselves to lean into our toolkit or do anything to show up for us. That's self protective mode. It's normal, it's natural. And we need people in our lives, who will call us out on our crap and be like, hey, you were better than this. I do not know what I would do without those people. Full stop, I cannot overemphasize to you the importance of having people in your life who support you and remind you of who you are, who helped you see past the mud that you feel stuck in right now to what's possible, to remind you of your purpose, to remind you of your personal power to remind you that you are enough, and that you are not actually stuck, that you are capable of stepping through whatever this version of fear is, into a form of freedom into not caring so much what other people think into being honestly and authentically full of gratitude into seeing the momentum and the potential that exists. You are capable of getting out of your own damn way you are capable of choosing something else. But we are not built and you are not built to do this alone. This is why I do what I do. Because we don't step through fear to freedom alone. We're built for community, we're built for connection. And you might have bought into a narrative so far that you're not supposed to have means or that it's not okay to ask for help or that it's not okay to be vulnerable, that it's not okay to share with people when you're struggling. Because how are they going to see you? Because you might be judged or you might be criticized or there might be conflict. So let's step through that fear. And into asking this question of who do I need in my life? Who do I need that shows up for me and cares about me that will help me quit this commitment to being stuck, and to being overwhelmed, and to comparing myself to other people and being convinced that life is something I need to wait for it to happen. Your commitment to waiting, will keep you playing small. It'll keep you hiding. It'll keep you trying to fit in and not ever have the chance to really belong. It keeps you in a place of burying your dreams and your passions and talking yourselves out of them. Because I'm not ready yet. Or I don't know how I don't know where to start. I don't know I can't even that's what shows up in waiting. So it's time to stop waiting. It's time to stop it. strp new word it. If you haven't watched the SNL skit with Bob Newhart called Stop it, you should go do that. Because then you'll have context on what I just said there. But the key is, it's time to stop it. It's time to choose something else. It's time to step out of a season of waiting into a season of momentum into a season of allowing into a season of creating the life that you actually are called to. It's time to listen to that little voice. It's saying, hey, there's more than this. There's something else for you. Because what's keeping you stuck in waiting is fear. And I'm here for it. If you're ready to step out and you need support, I'm here for it. And I will walk this road with you. Ultimately, you have to decide this is on you. Whether you stay stuck or you step up. It's up to you. So this is your invitation to choose them. Is your invitation to enter a new season with some fire? What are you waiting for? Alright, as we wrap up this episode, two things that you need to be aware of one is early bird Tickets are available pricing is holding until the end of April for the becoming ourselves summit on June the 18th. We are bringing in an incredible group of speakers everyone ranging from CEOs to podcasters to authors to musicians are going to have a bunch of performances throughout the day sharing musical talents with you lighting you up dance party with our DJ, it's gonna be a great day, so make sure you go get your tickets for that. The second is I have a couple spaces open for VIP one on one coaching. So if this resonated with you today, and you know that it's time to step out of fear, it's time to step into what life could be. It's time to get clarity on what that looks like and quit it with this stuck in the overwhelm. Drop me a DM so that we can chat. Until next time, this is your loving reminder that you are love, joy, strength, light and grace you are always enough and you are capable of choosing to stop wasting all my love and virtual hugs.