The Becoming Ourselves Podcast

From Fear to Freedom

April 02, 2021 Juli Wenger Season 1 Episode 29
The Becoming Ourselves Podcast
From Fear to Freedom
Chapters
The Becoming Ourselves Podcast
From Fear to Freedom
Apr 02, 2021 Season 1 Episode 29
Juli Wenger

You may not think that you struggle with fear. You might not think of yourself as afraid. However,  I think there are probably some ways that fear is showing up in your life that you are unaware of that is robbing you of happiness, fulfillment, and freedom. 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Book an Alignment Call with Juli:  https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=19410531&appointmentType=13872740

Becoming Ourselves The Summit https://www.juliwenger.com/becomingourselvesthesummit

CONNECT WITH ME

Instagram: @juliwenger

Facebook: - ww.facebook.com/becomingourselvespodcast

LinkedIn: Juli Wenger 

Website: https://www.juliwenger.com/

Show Notes Transcript

You may not think that you struggle with fear. You might not think of yourself as afraid. However,  I think there are probably some ways that fear is showing up in your life that you are unaware of that is robbing you of happiness, fulfillment, and freedom. 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Book an Alignment Call with Juli:  https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=19410531&appointmentType=13872740

Becoming Ourselves The Summit https://www.juliwenger.com/becomingourselvesthesummit

CONNECT WITH ME

Instagram: @juliwenger

Facebook: - ww.facebook.com/becomingourselvespodcast

LinkedIn: Juli Wenger 

Website: https://www.juliwenger.com/

Juli Wenger:

This week on the podcast, we are talking about moving through fear to freedom. And look, I get it. You don't like to label yourself as afraid either, do I? But tell me what if these lands with you? I feel like a fraud. I don't think I deserve it. I feel stuck. I'm just so tired. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to start. I am not smart enough. I'm not attractive enough. I just don't have the money. so busy. There's no time. I've never done it before. I don't know how I can't I'm not sure. Guess what underpins all of those. Fear. Surprise. So now that we're on the same page, that fear shows up in your life, I want you to know that it's not just you. I took on what turned out to be a really interesting project this week, mining through notes from client conversations, to see what the key things are, that we work through together. What are the common themes and the consistent struggles? Here's a few of the top ones, comparisons syndrome, imposter syndrome, feeling stuck or overwhelmed. perfectionism, lack of confidence, people pleasing and feeling inadequate. In other words, fear is taking them out. Just let that sink in for a minute. It's heavy. And as an empathetic human and a lover of people things like I'm not that important. Or I'm too loyal. Or I'm shrinking, or I'm hiding. I'm running, I'm in isolation. I'm too much. Not enough, I questioned my value I struggle with being an imposter. I struggle with comparison, do I measure up? I don't deserve to be happy. How do I prove myself I can't. Other people's opinions are more valuable than mine. This shit breaks my heart. And it's all lies. Fear lies to us. Here's why I wanted to bring this to you today. It's not just reflective of the experience of the humans I've worked with and supported. It is reflective of the human experience. It is reflective of my experience. And I would guess that it's reflective of yours. All of the things we struggle with, and all of the things that get in the way. What's common to all of those things is that they show up with an undertone of fear. All of the people pleasing and the overwhelm and the feeling stuck and the comparison and the scarcity. It's all fear based. What if I'm not enough? What if I don't have enough? This is your invitation to get curious. What am I afraid of? What are the lies I'm telling myself about who I am what I'm capable of. Because then we shift into hope. Here's where hope shows up the other side of fear. So I extended this exercise and I started to look at what the shift has looked like for all these clients. And you know what's on the other side, freedom, freedom from fear, freedom from overwhelm, freedom from being stuck. It's ease and peace and breathing room. It's moving from burnt out to inspired. It's moving from hiding and avoiding and putting off the life that you want. And instead putting your hand up and saying Watch out world. It's moving from saying I don't think I deserve it to knowing in your bones that you're here to do something that matters. It's moving from fear, to freedom, through fear to freedom. Because we don't just jump over it. This is one of those things that we move through. We process we uncover the stories around we get curious about them, we say Are they mine? Do they serve me? Are they true? And then we step into this courage, clarity and confidence, the courage to go and explore the courage to say, EFF it with this imposter syndrome. I'm going to show up anyway. The clarity on who we are and what we want to pull us through and the confidence in our own value our own worth our own skills and our own ability to move forward. So when I asked you today, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid of being seen as a failure? Are you afraid of disappointing people? Can I just remind you that we all fail and we all disappoint people and people will fail us and people will disappoint us. Can I also remind you that you're human and You're worthy. And you're enough because you exist. say this with me. I don't care if there's people around you and you feel like, we're doing it, we're doing it anyway. I am worthy. And I am enough because I exist. I am created on purpose with purpose for purpose, and I have nothing to prove. Nothing to prove. Here's what's beautiful about purpose. Purpose pulls us through rooting into what is my purpose? And what is the thing that lights me up, and that fulfills me and makes me feel whole creates impact in the world that makes my life worth something. That purpose pulls us through the tough moments, and it pulls us through the tough days. Here's what living into your purpose requires. Courage, clarity, and confidence. See how this all ties together? So it's time to get curious what's taking you out? What's stopping you from being courageous? What's stopping you from finding clarity? What's stopping you from being confident? I had a client come in a while back. And she was in a space where all of the commitments were swirling. We felt like chaos. It fell out of control. And do you know why? Because she forgot who the EFF she was. Because she let other people dictate her priorities. Because she lost focus of her calling and got pulled into other people's storms, other people's priorities, other people's wants other people's needs. And as we talked through it and got curious, as I reminded her of who she told me she is and who I have seen her to be, her energy shifted from defeat from not breathing. From that tightness that shows up in our chest when we're proving and pushing. From the anxiousness and fear of failure or letting others down or letting herself down to I got this, I am a powerful and capable businesswoman. I am a driven human, I am resilient, I can figure this out. I know what's important to me, I know how to set my priorities. I know what isn't serving me and I trust myself to be able to handle setting new boundaries. She went from frazzled and stuck from overwhelmed and ready to throw in the towel from being ready to sabotage everything because it felt like it was too much. From a space of not even knowing what to do next. From self protective mode, to standing in her power, to stepping back into it, to stepping back into being authentically herself. And to embracing and remembering who the EFF she is, and what she was put here to do. And saying I will not be moved. It was interesting because I checked in with her this week. And she said to me, I feel like after working together, I gain this clarity of who I am. Which then I can turn into focus. And I can work on the fear. It was so beautiful. What I'd add is I see her and I see so many others work through the fear. But here's what you need to know about fear to freedom. This is not a one time flip the switch and I'm done. This is like many things in a growth journey a continual choosing because our fear ultimately is trying to serve us. Our fear is showing up and it's trying to keep us safe. It's trying to flag potential danger. That's hardwired in that doesn't go away. But doing the work we can zoom out we can take an observer stance when this stuff starts to come up and we can say all right, this is who I am. I am love and joy and strength and light and grace, insert your own I AM's there, I am a force of nature, I am compassion, I am connection. Whatever it is that defines you and your essence. We remind ourselves of who we are and what we are put on this earth to do because we develop clarity about that. This is key. And those things that clarity that gives us the confidence and it gives us the focus. It gives us the courage to see the bigger picture to see beyond ourselves to see past our ego to see past the self protection and instead see what's possible. Moving from fear to freedom requires you to know who you are. It requires you to To remember who you are and when you forget, because you will. Having someone who can call you out and say, Hey, you were bigger than this. This is not yours, you are better than this. You are stronger than this. You are more resilient than this. Stop buying into the lies that you're telling yourself right now. You're not put here to play small. You're not here to hide. You're not here to stay stuck and overwhelmed. And think less of yourself than who you actually are. It's time to take off the layers. It's time to detach from the stories and it's time to reclaim your power. So as we close out this week, get curious. What is it that you're afraid of, and then go back in alignment call. Because this is the work that changes everything. And I am here for it. All my love and virtual hugs. As we close out this week, I want to remind you to go to Julie wenger.com and get your tickets for the upcoming ourselves summit on June the 18th. This is our bi annual online conference. And we are bringing in humans who are going to light you up and help you get unstuck. So if you're done playing small, this is an event you're not going to want to miss PS tell your friends