The Becoming Ourselves Podcast

Open Heart, Open Arms, Open Hands

February 24, 2021 Season 1 Episode 20
The Becoming Ourselves Podcast
Open Heart, Open Arms, Open Hands
Chapters
The Becoming Ourselves Podcast
Open Heart, Open Arms, Open Hands
Feb 24, 2021 Season 1 Episode 20

 This episode is all about CONTROL. I like to be in control. I like to know what's coming. I like to know when it's coming. I like to know what my role in it is, I like to be able to control the outcome. And I've spent a lot of my life attached to outcomes.  Lets talk about the power of being OPEN instead. 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 

Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Accelerator https://www.juliwenger.com/group-program

Be Nice to Yourself Workshop https://www.eventbrite.com/e/be-nicer-to-yourself-tickets-138337969591

CONNECT WITH ME

Instagram: @juliwenger

Facebook: - ww.facebook.com/becomingourselvespodcast

LinkedIn: Juli Wenger 

Website: https://www.juliwenger.com/

Show Notes Transcript

 This episode is all about CONTROL. I like to be in control. I like to know what's coming. I like to know when it's coming. I like to know what my role in it is, I like to be able to control the outcome. And I've spent a lot of my life attached to outcomes.  Lets talk about the power of being OPEN instead. 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 

Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Accelerator https://www.juliwenger.com/group-program

Be Nice to Yourself Workshop https://www.eventbrite.com/e/be-nicer-to-yourself-tickets-138337969591

CONNECT WITH ME

Instagram: @juliwenger

Facebook: - ww.facebook.com/becomingourselvespodcast

LinkedIn: Juli Wenger 

Website: https://www.juliwenger.com/

Juli Wenger:

This week on the podcast, we're talking about open heart, open arms, open hands. This came to me last week when I was sitting with my journal, and I was thinking about control how I like to be in control. I like to know what's coming. I like to know when it's coming. I like to know what my role in it is, I like to be able to control the outcome. And I've spent a lot of my life attached to outcomes. It's exhausting. For all of you who are chasing dollar targets, commission values, other people's standards of success. For all of you who are chasing what society tells us, we should be that energy out, it's so exhausting. And it lends itself to us wanting to control all things. And us wanting to control things lends itself to scarcity, mindset, and disempowerment. And so I was sitting. And I was thinking about what's coming next in this business that, in a sense, feels like a startup. It didn't feel like a startup. And then we pivoted, and then we got clarity. We talked about that last week. And now it feels kind of like a startup. There's a lot of systems we have in place, I have an amazing assistant slash VP of everything. And we have clients, and we have a lot of things set up. But because the target has changed, it feels like a startup. And I kind of like momentum, you know, the recovering overachiever in me the warp speed eight, the super high standards and expectations. That part of me wants momentum, and I want to control the momentum. But the controlling of the momentum is actually the thing that's been getting in my own way. So as I was reflecting the other day, and taking some downtime, some quiet time, some space to breathe and focus and say, okay, what's next? What does my inner wisdom Tell me what? You know, if I ask God, what he wants? What's up? What's next? What's the focus? I got this, open heart, open arms, open hands. And it reminded me a little bit of how Bernie Brown says, soft, front, strong back wildheart. But it's a little different. And what I love about this is that open heart is about vulnerability and transparency. Open Heart is about being love. Open Arms, for me is compassion. And it's also about allowing, it's about allowing whoever's called and whoever's of fit to come and not push and not to force and not to sales pitch, not all of those things that would help me feel on some level like I have control, but is actually repelling energy. And instead to just stand with my arms open and be like, I'm here. If you need me if you're ready. If you're open and ready and willing, and you're choosing you I'm here and I'm all in an open hands is this surrender and availability. It's letting go of my need to control all things. It's trusting that all is somehow for me and building me for what's next. And it's saying hey, I'm available. I am available for the abundance that can come. I am available for the opportunities that can come. I am available to the humans that I have been put on this path to help because the trains on the tracks. This has been an analogy over the last year and a half for me of there are things that are being put in place in front of me. And it's like a train track and the train is on the tracks and the train is moving. And at first it was Julie get on the damn train. Now it's Julie stay on the train. Just stay on the train. I don't know what the outside of the train looks like, I don't know where the train is going. That makes me a little like, that's not comfortable for me. But it's my next expansion. The learning to trust the knowing the inner knowing and the calm and saying, If I show up with an open heart, open arms and open hands, things will come and things will happen. And things will progress. Beautiful beautifully. which lends to this idea of seasons. And I've been wanting to get into this for a little bit. Because it's been such a helpful concept for me. And to talk about not just being built for winter, because we have talked about that of being ready for the challenging seasons. But to look at it from this space of right now feels like spring to me, like early spring, when you've planted a bunch of seeds. And things aren't growing yet. Right? When you're watching the trees and things look dormant, but something's happening that you can't see. You can't see it yet. And it requires this patience, it requires a continuing to show up and nurture. And in knowing that the growth will happen, that spring will actually come that the buds will pop that the flowers will come that everything will start to grow and transform and turn into something. Right now it feels like this dormant space in dormancy is it's calling meet arrest, which is also uncomfortable. Because I've spent the last 12 years, the last 1011 years of being self employed and time before that just running, being busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. For those of you who are my age or older. Remember when palm pilots came out, it was like pre real smartphone. And you could plug all of your calendar stuff in it. And I remember filling this thing out and being so excited to like, look how busy I am. And I really held busy as a status, status symbol busy was proof that I mattered. And now as I'm in this season, of dormancy of growth that I can't quite see yet of momentum shifting visibly, even if there's something else going on that I don't have access to yet that I'm not seeing it. That's challenging me on the open hands. That's the reality right now. But then the season will come as it always does, where those things start to turn into something where the momentum builds, where things manifest. And I don't even mean like woo woo manifest. I mean, like, I put in the work, and I kept giving consistently and pushing on, and creating space for this business to flourish, for the impact to grow, for people to show up and have the space to be able to explore themselves, for their lives to change for them to get to know themselves. For them to have permission to be wholly and authentically them because our power is in our vulnerability. And our power is in our authenticity. Full stop. And then we get to summer. And things are beautiful in her lush and they're amazing. And we get to celebrate. We get to take stock of all of the things that have built and grown and have been in seasons of that and my businesses too. I've been in seasons of that in my life. For a lot of us, this is going to be the we made it through COVID and it's gonna be amazing. It will be amazing. And it's always amazing if we can take the time to slow down and celebrate it, if we can acknowledge ourselves for it, if we have a strong enough foundation to do something with it. And right now is the time right now is the foundation building. And foundation building for me, is my work on me. I've thought about foundation building as systems in businesses for a long time. But what I've come to realize, over the last couple of years of doing this work, of supporting people in their growth journey of supporting people and finding their fire and trusting themselves and living their purpose is that the foundation work is our personal work. It's our Who am I work? It's our what drives me, what fires me up? What lights me up? What fills my boots work? It's the Where am I going? And how am I keeping myself from getting there? How am I limiting the distraction? How am I limiting the pull of my patterns and my stories that want me to stay small and hidden, and put on masks and make it look like look how successful I am. Because let's be real, there's a lot of that out there. And I could hop on here and can be like, Oh my gosh, everything's amazing. And my client list is full. And we're doing so great. And everything is so great. And like it's toxic positivity, right. And then everyone goes around comparing themselves to that, as well, everything's so great for Julie. But it's like what's wrong with me. So we're not gonna do that. There are things that are really amazing about where my business and where my life is at right now. And there are things that trigger me into imposter syndrome, like every other day. And then I pull myself out. And I put on my big girl pants. And I lean into my toolkit and figure out what's going on. And I get curious. And I know that that's just to do with my next level of expansion, that's to do with learning to slow down and pay more attention to my body that's with learning to slow down and create more space to feel things instead of proving that I'm enough. So whatever season you're in right now honor it, be in it, celebrate it, even if it doesn't feel worth celebrating, because you're on the journey. And all of these moments that feel like dormancy, or like the plateau that sits right at the base of our next expansion of our next growth curve of the next phase of us moving towards and into the life that we're called to and capable of. It's creating the resilience and the courage that we're going to need for the next phase. And for the next set of opportunities. This one's not scripted. This is my heart for you today that you lean in to wherever you are right now that you ask yourself, How can I step into this next moment, this next hour this next day, with an open heart, open arms and open hands? How can I acknowledge that I'm not there yet. And that that's okay. And know that we were not put on this earth to fit in and to live into someone else's expectations of enoughness or someone else's shoulds for our careers, or our home lives. We were put here for a purpose. And for me, that purpose is empowering you. For you that may be something different and that is beautiful and it isn't needed. So, open heart, open arms, open hands, sending you all my love and virtual hugs.