Being Here

Are you so busy reaching for "next" and "there" that you can't be here? Or present? Do you struggle to take a break, sit still, or rest?  If you do, then this one is just for you.
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CONNECT WITH JULI
Insta | Facebook | TikTok
https://www.juliwenger.com/
Sign up for FIRED-UP - Power Notes from Juli

FIRED-UP, FULFILLED & FREE (THE BOOK)
GET THE BOOK (Amazon Canada)
GET THE BOOK (Amazon US)

Interested in the FEAR TO FREEDOM PLAYBOOK?
Get on the waitlist here!

READY FOR A SPARK?
Book a Free C...

Transcript

Juli Wenger: 0:00

Hey, welcome back or welcome, if it's your first time listening to becoming ourselves, the podcast this week we are talking about. Whereas here, there's been a lot that has been coming at me lately in terms of the difference between where we are now. And where we are going, where we're rushing to where we are pushing our way to what we're reaching for, you know, that future focus of, if I can just get there, or when I get there, then I can, then I will be. And that's been very true for me in my own journey of being this intensely driven person that's always aiming for next, I'm always aiming for what's coming. What's the next exciting thing? And I'm not really a visionary. Okay, so this is super easy space for me to get into what's coming? What's exciting, what are we building? What are we working towards. And while there is a visionary superpower, and there's a creativity, and there's a dreamer, and there's an optimist, and all of those things are great. The other thing that shows up, when I'm trying to get to there, instead of focusing on being here, is I'm running from something I am racing towards something that I think will be better, will be more comfortable, will be more success filled, will affirm my value will tick the box on this is what I think that I'm capable of, it's not even so much anymore, the here's what life is supposed to look like. And here's how you're supposed to do it, there probably will always be a little thread of that for me, because I'm a recovering overachiever and people pleaser, who has been very, very deeply rooted in perception management. And it's less about that. And it's more about the capability gap. It's about this, knowing this inner knowing of what I am capable of, eventually, what I'm capable of when I'm at my best. But we're not always at our best. And we have a best now. And then we have a different version of vest as we continue to grow. And as we continue to stretch. And as we continue to persevere through the SEC, okay. There has been for most of us, dare I say all of us a good deal of suck over the last number of years. And even if we take this whole, like pandemic thing out of the equation, okay, there is still a lot of suck. There's disappointment, there's life happening. There are all kinds of mental health challenges. Personally, I'm dealing still with just reconciling entirely and figuring out how to leverage add. So there's all of this just life. And sometimes we have storms, right? Sometimes we have storms that we step into, because we step off the path of what God's calling us to, which happens really easily. By the way, when we're racing. And we're running towards some version of there to meet some underlying needs, for it's going to be better, or then I'll be who I know I'm capable of being. And there are also storms that he allows us to walk into. Why? Because this was fine reading last week. So it started this seminary thing, leadership theology with church. And it's like masters level University stuff. It's great. It's so great. And it's going to be very, very challenging in terms of just me doing more of my work. Anyway, I was reading about how the traumas, the suck, the hard things, the challenges, they are what allow him to shape us, allow him to develop our character allow him to change our ways of thinking, our ways of being our ways of doing or ways of all the ways all the thinking. And that has been so so so true. In my own life, and I would encourage you think about in your life, what if some of those pivotal developmental moments been? Because it's not easy for us to grow on comfort? Look back at how many of those shifts those life changes have been underpinned by some sort of suck. Just honestly, sometimes are just really great things. It's like yes, it's amazing, but most of the time they're suck because the world is broken. So Anyway, here's where we're gonna go back to, instead of racing to there. Instead of always looking at six months out, always looking at a year out, always looking at 10 years out always, like focused on the future. Can we be here? Because being here is required to get to there, there is in fact, no there. So we're going to turn into like a philosophy weird anyway. But without being here. We can't get to there. And when we get there is actually a different version of what, here. So we're chasing something perpetually, like tomorrow. Tomorrow Never comes like that. And what's really been present for me and what God's been challenging me in is, can you be here? Can you be okay? Can you be content? Can you find joy? Can you learn to trust me? Can you be here? And have that be okay? Now being in the present, that's challenge number one, just being here focusing on where is here even I don't even know where here is. And then challenge number two is finding contentment. It's looking at life and saying, okay, yes, I know that I am capable. I'm just gonna like Juliet here for a minute, okay, I know that I am capable of speaking on big stages. I know that I am capable of creating transformation with massive amounts of people. I know that God's put that in me. And I know that if I'm walking with Him, He will work through me to do that. I know that I'm capable of selling a million books, I know that I am capable of building a community and a network, where we hear the calling it clarity on the call, it's on our life. And we walk it out together. And we are empowered, and we are equipped, and we encounter God. And we go and be light and connection and love to other people. I know that that's something that is available to me, okay. And not yet. And it's the not yet that's hard. See, he's planted all of these dreams, and these hopes, and he's given me these capabilities that I'm developing, and that I'm nurturing. But at the same time, there's a building of us that needs to happen. And there's a building of me that needs to happen. Before I'm going to be ready for that thing before I'm going to be ready to hit some of those targets. Not even because they're my targets, but because he's put them there and said, This is where we're going. And if I race there, I'm either gonna get there too soon, and not be ready and blow it all up. Because maybe my character is not developed enough yet. Or maybe I haven't had enough reps on a stage yet. And the other challenge with racing there is that we require rest. There is a necessary slowing down. There are unnecessary pauses that needed to happen. And this is essentially how this conversation went last week between me and God. I decided to take Friday off. He has been after me on rest all year. He's really been after me unrest since I was leaving real estate. So it's been a while. And everywhere I looked, was this spiritual tool by far to the head. I'm listening to sermons and listening to podcasts. I'm reading books. I'm randomly flipping open my devotional book that I haven't cracked in like eight months, everywhere. Rest, Sabbath, rest, rest, rest, learn to rest, rest, Sabbath more rest. Okay, I get the point. So I decided to take a day off and actively rest. Not nap. Although I could have napped, but just not work. What brings me joy. What can I do that's not working? What can I do that is me slowing down. And it was hard. So I end up at this coffee shop close to home and I'm asking God, why is this so hard? What is so difficult about this? And ultimately what it was is that I don't try Just enough, I still have that sense of, if I slow down, everything could fall apart. If I'm not showing up and working and working and working and working something at home, or something, and my business is just going to end, and it really indicates a lack of faith, because if he's telling me Julie, I need you to slow down. And let me give you rest. Let me be just present with you and fill you up. And I'm saying area maybe next week, because I gotta get all this stuff done. Like, do you trust me or not? And so he gave me this picture of a car driving. And he says, You can't fill up the car with gas. While it's driving. You can't fuel the car while it's moving. And, like, yeah, because the fuel leak all over the place. Right, you'd be trying to fill it up. But you'd be just like dumping fuel all over the road, which creates a hazard for the people that come behind that car, or behind me. And he says interesting to you to pause momentarily. Like this is temporary, this isn't a long term thing that I need you to pause long enough that I can fuel you that I can fill you up so that you can operate from a place where you actually have a full gas tank. And if you don't let me do that, you're forfeiting your own capacity. You're forfeiting your own energy, because you won't slow down long enough for me to actually give you what you need to go do the things that I want you to do. And that I have for you to do. And then I've custom created for you do and you for. So I'm like, yep, that that sucks. Okay, this lack of energy, this feeling of overwhelm this, like there's so much to do, can I hire an assistant yet? Me for fittingly own capacity, because I'm not stopping enough. And it's interesting because I have way more boundaries than I used to. And I do a lot less than I used to. And I have a lot more self care than I used to. And I have a lot more soul care than I used to. And there's so much of, but I'm practicing what I preach. And yet, there's another layer. There's another call, there's another hole, who knows and jump, take a day off. So I'm thinking about fuel leaking. And then I get anointing leaks to snap. For those of you who are called to something, who know that there is just something that's like, it's big. And it's important, and not from an ego standpoint, but you know, God wants to see you, you know that he's got something for you to step into. This is your call, just like I've been getting mine, if you're not slowing down. If you're not letting him fill you up, you're forfeiting your own capacity and your anointing seeking to. And then what happens? Much like when we let fear get in our way of saying yes, in the first place to what we're called to, when the people that are assigned to our path, don't get us because we don't show up. When we show up, tired, or we show up late, or we're pushing so hard, we show up early. We don't have the capacity, or we're not there when they're there to be able to help them create the transformation that we're supposed to help them create. So we're right back into that space of the opportunity cost for other people is too high. For us to not slow down and say okay, I trust you. I'm going to rest I'm going to let myself be filled back up. I'm going to practice. And this is a practice, okay, this isn't just like, I'm just going to sleep in and I'm going to bum around all day for somebody like me that is very go go go go. And both at a habitual level. And I think also partially the, you know, the hyperactivity thing. It is a muscle that is not very well developed. For me. I had to literally leave the house, because if I'm sitting here I could purge that closet. That'd be fun, but it's work. I can cut back the plants for the fall. That'd be good. But it's work. There's so much to do. It's kind of like when you go on vacation and getting away allows you the space to breathe Read because you can't do all of the things. It's part of the problem with cell phones and Wi Fi. Because you can still go and work, which also is amazing like cell phones and Wi Fi, because I literally could do this job from anywhere in the world. And I had to leave my existing environment while I practiced. And I'm probably going to need to continue to do that, while I practice until it gets a little bit more habitual, a little bit more comfortable to my ego has a better frame of reference. And then maybe I can come back home and do it. It's like when we're building boundaries, and the boundaries we need to put in place, let's say, with people in our lives, who aren't the most healthy relationships for us to have, those boundaries might need to be stronger, and bigger for a while while we do our own healing. And we do our own work. And we do our own coming back to ourselves, so that we're not so triggered, or we're not so impacted or not impacted as quickly by that interaction with that other person. But as we get healthier, we can step back in a little more. It's like that. And here's the opportunity. When we slow down, we can be present here. When we slow down, we can start to get clear on what can I be content with here? How do I practice contentment? How do I how can I get clarity on what it is? That's an opportunity for me in the here that I'm in. And that means you have to evaluate Where's here for me right now. And here can be a number of different things. And this is something I've been thinking about and building out. The course can be an emotional state, a physical place, a seasonal life, a reflection of your capacity. Here might be the things you've been avoiding or running from what are we trying to make here into? There's a here and then there's also the what are we chasing? So get curious about that. And if that's something you want to dig deeper into get on the waitlist for the course because it is going to be next level. When it's done. Oh my goodness, it's massive, massive. Anyway, that's where I'm gonna leave it for this week. Short and sweet. Pay attention to where you are. Practice being present. And for the love of God. Take a break on my love Virtual hugs.