Becoming Ourselves - The Podcast

From Author to Authority - Tenaciously Human

June 29, 2022 Season 4 Episode 15
Becoming Ourselves - The Podcast
From Author to Authority - Tenaciously Human
Show Notes Transcript

My friend Jake is joining us this week! We're talking about value and worth, shedding expectations, following our calling, experiencing freedom and...ok, ok, I'll just say it, we're talking about how to live Fired-Up, Fulfilled and Free!

MEET JAKE:
Jake Loveland is a leadership expert, coach and the host of the Tenaciously Human Leaders podcast. Over the past 10 years he has helped businesses in various sectors, and in almost every department (sales, customer service, HR, operations, finance, etc). As a husband, father of 5, and former executive of a multimillion dollar company, he is primed to help leaders find wild professional success, while prioritizing faith and family.

https://www.tenaciouslyhuman.com/
https://www.instagram.com/loveland_jake
Free 5 Step Guide to Crushing Your Career without Sacrificing Faith and Family:
https://go.tenaciouslyhuman.com/5-step-formula-wild-success

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Juli Wenger:

Welcome to becoming ourselves, the podcast, where we help you answer the questions Who Am I? And why am I here. And then we help you get out of your own way because the world is waiting for you to show up and own your power. You have been placed on this earth for purpose, with purpose and on purpose by a God who loves you fiercely. And he has called you to something that has been specifically created for you right now. I'm Juli Wenger, a coach and author, speaker and Enneagram teacher, a Jesus lover and an entrepreneur that rocks ADHD. I am passionate about helping you step into the life you've called to, that something you know is possible, but haven't been able to reach. So buckle up, because it's not always an easy ride. But on the other side, is a life that is fired up, fulfilled. Let's go. Welcome back to the becoming ourselves Podcast. I'm excited. Oh is excited. But today, we have my friend Jake on the podcast. Jake and I connected a while ago, I was looking for other podcasts that had like a faith component to them. And we had a really great conversation about shifting from life sucking careers. So we put it that way we can Yeah, yeah, we'll just go all in on this life sucking energy sucking. We could call them energy vampire careers. Maybe I like to call things energy vampires sometimes. And I'm shifting into things that we're called to, and things that we're passionate about, and their recovery journey from like burnout and anxiety and into just new and exciting. And so welcome to the show. Hey, thanks

Unknown:

so much. Um, I'm really excited to be here.

Juli Wenger:

So tell them who you are and what you do. And then we could talk a little bit about what used to be your life.

Unknown:

Okay. So my current life, I am a husband. I've got a wonderful wife, who I loved deeply. And we have five children. Now. We just had our fifth, two weeks ago, I think it's pretty fresh. So it's crazy.

Juli Wenger:

I still can't even with I just wow. Yeah, I don't know, if you're my hero. Or if you're totally nuts.

Unknown:

It's, it's probably a combination of both. So for the audience who may not know Jude's referring to the fact that I, I have been blessed, we use that word, with the opportunity to have five children, the oldest being four, and having having no twins in there. So we've got a four year old, a three year old, a two year old, a one year old. And then this this two, two week old who just joined us, and it is absolutely insane. It is truly the craziest, craziest thing I could possibly imagine. Not sure I would recommend it to anybody. But I do love it. Most of the time, I love I love all of my children individually. And collectively, I love them most of the time. We can say that, professionally. I'm a coach. I help business owners, specifically business leaders in general. But my target is business owners and helping them to grow their business without being visited by the energy vampire, as you refer to, you know, helping them find, you know, this wild professional success without sacrificing faith without sacrificing family and who they are. That's been a big passion of mine. And it's really fun. So I do that through a couple of things. I do one on one coaching. I do group coaching, I do speaking engagements. And then I have a podcast of my own, which Juli was on. It was a fantastic episode can't wait for it to release. The show is called tenaciously human. And we talk about just that subject finding kind of the tagline is finding wild professional success without sacrificing faith and family. So yeah, that should catch everybody up to speed, I think.

Juli Wenger:

Yeah, I think it'll do. Its, you know, going to be clear alignment for them and relate to Okay, I see why she's got him on the show. So there's so many parallels in terms of finding that harmony. I hate the word balance for that harmony between the the home life and family and being present and really showing up in that space and then also having the capacity and the alignment at work to create impact and do something that is fulfilling. So take us to pre coach life and you're like in corporate land. Yeah. And what was that like?

Unknown:

Yeah, so it was, you know, I was living the corporate dream, if you will. So I was working for this multimillion dollar corporation, we were in, you know, had 13 different locations, I think when I left, and so I spent a lot of time traveling, especially during the summer, I was gone every week, for 20 or so weeks in a row. And it was, it was a lot of travel. And it was really hard on my family. The Traveling part of it was and the what I saw in the corporate world was was daunting to me. I mean, we were a small company, and we were startup still, so it wasn't as big as you know, these fortune 500 or didn't have a lot of the culture of those bigger companies, but definitely started to see a lot of the what I call hustle culture start to creep in, right? Where people are feeling the need to hey, I, I need to work harder, I need to be spending more time. I remember having this conversation with one of our executives at the company. And he in tears, was telling me how sad he was that he, you know, looking back on the last year, he didn't spend enough time with his wife. And so I was like, alright, let's Well, let's make some changes, you know, let's see what we can do to move forward. And he said, no, that's just the way it's going to be. And that's the way life is going to be moving forward. And he had just accepted the fact that he wasn't going to see his wife as much as he wanted to. And that just ripped my heart out. And I saw so many other people, you know, great people, wonderful, wonderful people with good intentions who are striving to make an impact on the world. And we're letting their families unintentionally fall by the wayside because they didn't see another way to do it. They thought that this was the only way. And so I that that really pushed me to want to make a difference. Like you know what, there is a different way, I believe that work life balance is possible. It's not opposing wild professional success, but they actually build off of each other, if you do it in the right way. And so that just set me off on this this journey. I mean, I say set me off, I mean, full time, I guess it's been on my mind for about a decade, I had the opportunity to work for I mean, we can get into that origin story a little bit, but that the journey really started for me about 10 years previous. But that's when I went full time was just over a year ago, I saw, you know, I was living the corporate dream, as I was calling it, you know, had, you know, a bunch of people on the downline, your direct reports, and traveling a lot. And I thought that's what I wanted. But what I really wanted, was to help those people around me to find a greater happiness in their lives, regardless of their position, right? Just because you're, you know, the the chief revenue officer, whatever your title is, doesn't mean that you don't have the right or even responsibility to spend time with your family. So that's kind of what got me to take that final jump, and and quit my job, I left it very suddenly, I felt very strongly that it needed to be urgent that it was urgent to you know, I told them, Look, I can give you 30 days if you need it. But I feel like this is something I need to start doing now. And I left that day. Yeah, it was, it was a very sudden decision. But it felt like the right thing for us to do. As a family.

Juli Wenger:

There's a few things there that I want to tie into, as I'm making mad notes over here. And part of it is to reinforce some of the conversations and the themes that we've been having on this show for the last year and a half since we launched a couple of weeks ago was our 100th episode. And it's had me in this reflection of the journey, right, and there has been such a focus. I mean, you know, this is something I'm really passionate about is the the shoulds in the supposed TOS the societal stories of this is what you're supposed to want, right? This is what your life is supposed to look like. And this is what you should work towards. And this is how you should show up. And we get there. And you said something that I've heard myself say and I've heard other guests say of I thought that's what I wanted. Because we buy into the story we buy into the expectation and we don't necessarily have a frame of reference for something different. And so I want to be able to route into that of so often. And you and I both see this professionally now on the coach side so often People are so deeply rooted into other people's stories and other people's expectations for their life, or what they perceive those to be x, often, they're not even real, right? That they spend their entire careers and their lives chasing this standard. That was never for them in the first place. And then like you and I, they get to that point of, okay, I'm successful. I have what I'm supposed to want and quote, unquote, but it's not. And that place is like, take us into the emotional side of what shows up for you, when you reach that point of this is, this is not what I want. And I'm seeing these people settle for that's just the way it is. I mean, that's corporate America, right? And corporate Canada, but I tie us into that, because it's like the same culture. Yeah, hustle, hustle, hustle, push grind? Yeah, for what?

Unknown:

Yeah, so a big part of that journey for me was understanding where my worth came from. So this was a big journey that I took about a year, year and a half, maybe two years prior to me leaving this this position, I did a deep dive into mental health and emotional awareness. I spent an absurd amount of money on personal development, and just really wanted to understand my myself a little bit better. And what I really would came to discover, one of the big things I came to discover is that I didn't know where my worth came from. I was saying, You know what, because I, there are 200 people in my organization who directly or indirectly report up to me, that must mean that I'm valuable, or I have another one that surprised me was children, I have four children. That means that I am important, right? That I am a father. And that makes me powerful. That makes me that gives me some sort of clout, either within my own family or even, you know, within the world, that the, you know how other people view it. And the biggest part of this journey was understanding that none of that really matters. I mean, sure, having an impact on work is important. And don't get me wrong, family definitely is important. And that's not where my worth comes from. Knowing that my worth comes from these religious podcasts, I can be open here. I mean, my worth comes from God, I believe that I am a son of God, that's my personal belief, I believe that He created me and that he, I view it as a father son relationship, he sees me as a son, and I see him as a father, he created me and that is where my worth comes from. And nothing I do or don't do in this life can change that. So when I take that, that belief, and I take it to a good cause an inspired cause an internal cause, like raising a family, then it's so much easier to accept that I'm going to drop the ball sometimes, because I know that my worth isn't attached to it, you know, I'm not going to be a perfect parent. And that's okay. Because my worth is infinite and eternal. And I'm just doing the best I can out here. And separating my worth from that was the biggest part in understanding how corporate America I thought that working my way up a company was what was gonna make me happy. And I did enjoy a lot of the things there. And there's nothing wrong with running a company at all. I foresee that I will be back in that position at some point down down the line. There's nothing wrong with that, but that's not going to make you happy. And that's where we get into trouble is we just start chasing, it's so hard because we're hoping it'll make us happy. But it's fruitless. That's why we can spend 80 hours a week and not be happy is because it's it's that's not actually where happiness comes from.

Juli Wenger:

100% And having been in a place of mean both the time in and the attaching to roles and attaching to titles and attaching to mean even just the busyness. Right, that was always one for me, I've looked full My schedule is and must be important or must matter. And we want to matter and you're so right that if we're looking externally for our worth, and if we're looking externally for that affirmation and that validation of you matter. All of those are like their hits and they're going to fade compared to really being able to stand in this faith space that is sustainable and it is steady and it is reliable. And it's just like, when I know that my value exists because I'm here, because God created me because he said, I love you so much I'm going to put you on this earth. And I read this quote, we mentioned it, and a few weeks ago, and another guest episode is talking about this just hit me like a ton of bricks, reading this book called The gift of being yourself. And there was this quote that said that God loved you into existence. And I was like, right, but that is, that is, if the truth of it right is he is live. And he loved us so much that he put us here, and he loved us so much that He gave us purpose. Yeah. And something to go do without having our relationship with Him depend on it, right? It's just this, there's so much freedom in that there's a freedom in saying it doesn't matter. And I mean, this is a journey, right? And I'm still very much on it. But it doesn't matter if everyone likes me, because my value and my worth, it's settled. Like, that's, that's done. And the only way to put this in the book, the only way we're not enough, is if we choose it. And the only way our value is unsettled is if we unsettle it, like there's an active contribution that we make, to choosing the not enoughness. So for you to look at those roles and those status symbols, or those comparative things in society and say no, actually, like, that's not, that's not where my value sits. But that's something that I get to give of myself to is a total mindset shift from what we'd consider normal.

Unknown:

Yeah, and I think it's super freeing. It gives me I feel so much freedom, that's the only word I can use to describe it, I guess. Because before in my mind, it was okay. You know, one of the metrics that I used. Frequently, it was always a joke, but it was a serious metric to myself, I didn't realize at the time, but when I got off the airplane, I was always on the airplane, how many text messages I got, when I turned my phone back on, you know, for those two hours or three hours that my phone was off. That's what that's how important it was. That's how valued I was. It was something I would joke about with my family. And, and I would even send screenshots people like, Oh, I miss 56 text messages during this flight like that must mean I'm important. And when I, it was so freeing to set that aside, and to set you know, fame money, influence those things aside and say, what is it that you want to do with your life? What is it that you are called to do with your life, regardless of everything else, the world tells me at least the message that I was hearing was that in order to be valuable, I need you to have a lot of influence and a lot of money. Well, maybe that's not my journey. Maybe my journey is to be a school teacher. They don't have a whole lot of money, they have a deep, deep impact on the students that they have. But beyond their class, they don't have you know, that influence that people are talking about there have millions of followers typically, but they have deep impact. And so it was just so freeing to, again, it's a journey, it's something I'm still working on. But separating myself from that allows me to just look at life, from an unjust mental point of view and say, what is it that I want to do with my life? What is it that I'm called to do? Let's do that. Because my worth is already set in stone.

Juli Wenger:

Yeah. Okay, let's talk about the leaving abruptly. Because this is something that I have seen be so transformational for people to hear about. And I call these the hold your nose and jump moments. Like I just, it's time like, I just gotta go. So here's what's interesting about them is often they seem, and in ways they are really fast, but often they seem really fast. But there was this preparation period before that, that we don't always talk about. You're just kind of like, well, you know what, I was doing this thing, and I realized I was miserable. And then I just left it behind, right? Like, you left the job. I walked away from the company, like it just seems like, oh, well, aren't you brave? You just like made this decision. Rocky went. It's not that simple. Right. So if we can just back up a little bit there and talk about what was it that you had to process? Or, you know, what was the trigger in choosing Okay, now's the time I got to go.

Unknown:

So it was a couple of things. The first was that that value that I was talking about, right, realizing, you know, I was at the top of this come But he, you know, working well, you know, second or third in command, if you will, of this company. And so I was, I had this value. And so being able to set that aside took a lot of understanding that that's not actually where my value came from. And I said, that was a journey of almost two years before I left. The other thing was a, I had a prompting, to, to take a course in coaching. And so I started taking that about six months before I left. So I started taking this course is a year long course very in depth, very involved. And when I started it, there was a couple of ideas, you know, there was the idea of I could be a full time coach. There was also the thought of I could do this on the side, or, or honestly, as this will just make me much better at my job here. Because as an executive, a big part of my role was one on one meetings and helping to essentially coach the people who are reporting to me. And so it was, it was a small step. I mean, well, it was a lot smaller step than quitting, my job was starting this course, it was expensive, and it took a lot of time. But it wasn't scary. To take that step. That was the preparatory step. And it got me thinking, and it was always, you know, I'm always talking to other coaches who were, you know, starting out on their own or finding ways to balance so the ideas floating around. And it did come in waves. So the idea came to me was, so this is August. Ish. I'm thinking Caleb, probably leaving this company, you know, in a year from now, at the end of next summer. Our work was very seasonal. So summers were very busy. So then then it was like, Well, I don't want to put my family through another summer of travel. So I'll leave right before the summer. So I had plans to leave the company, down the line, they weren't solidified. So there was some preparation there. Absolutely. But I was really stressed about work. It was very interesting. There was some big concerns I had with the company, there were some big changes. So I had a conversation with the CEO had a conversation with the CFO, and the CEO and and had these conversations with them. And the conversations actually went super well resolved my concerns. I was like, okay, cool. I can get behind this. And then that night, through prayer and revelation, that's when it was like a hit by truck is like, nope, Cool, good job figuring those things out. I'm glad you work those things out with your company. Now get out. Yeah, and, yeah, I think I needed to go through that. And he didn't have the conversations with them. for my own sake, those are, they were about the health of the company, quote, unquote. But they were really helpful for me, as well as an individual to express those things and to learn how to communicate those things. So it was a good experience for me. And I came to this decision of, okay, I can stick out this company. And at that point, I could be here for years, was the thought. And then it flipped on me very quickly. And I just remember laying on the floor in my office in here, just laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, like I can't quit my job, we're about to have another baby. The company is doing really well, like big promotions are coming. Big pay raises for everybody. You know, looking at private equity, all these big things are happening. And I'm like, I'm gonna walk away from all this. And, and just feeling a lot of stress. And I remember my wife coming down and sitting down there on the floor and saying to me, we've trusted God this far in our life. What Why don't we trust him once more? Let's take this leap. And I was like, Okay, I'll leave and you know, and maybe I'll, maybe I'll bump it up, I'll bump it up to January instead of, you know, April or May and and now it was like, Nope, it's tomorrow. And I felt that very strong. And so then the next day I called everybody and again, I told them, You know, I can give you 30 days notice if you need it. And I don't think I should take it. But if you need it, I'm here. And they were very gracious and understanding. And I spent the whole day talking to everybody I could in the company and walking them through my exit strategy and making sure that the company went as smoothly as possible without my presence. But yeah, that's a little bit of the backstory behind it was a lot of little things that led up to it. To that one big moment.

Juli Wenger:

It's always interesting to look though at as I'm listening to that, and I'm seeing the path and the parallels and all of these things like that. We have to go through our processing. But there comes that moment. Right? There comes that moment where it's like, just direct communication from God, like if time ago, we need to go. And I fought it. Right, like I spent months just like, Hmm, maybe I should do this first, maybe I should do this first, maybe I should do this first. Because I needed my own closure, I needed to explore those options or things I thought were options to get to that point where it's like, no, we're going or I'm going to drag you by your hair like this is this is not optional. You don't get the option of whether or not we do this. It's just happening. And it would have been so much less. I don't know if painful is the right word. But to just say yes, in the first place. Yeah. to just get that, you know, and I love that about your story where it's like, you know, I had this prep, and I had this process. And then I got this now we move. And the next day we moved. Yeah, right like that. There's something refreshing about that for my soul just in listening to that. And yes, like, when I say go, we go. When I say move, we move when I say stop, we stop, like, all right. Now what are we doing today? God, what's next? Here we go.

Unknown:

Yeah, it's, it's interesting, because I had a plan. You know, I was okay. I, I had come to the realization that it was that this company wasn't where I was gonna retire from that there was going to be a move. And so I had a plan of, okay, I'm gonna do all these things, get all these things in line I set up, you know, I had a game plan to exit this company, in a way that was beneficial for me and for the company. And God said, No, today,

Juli Wenger:

I have a different plan. Yeah, happens to be better. So off you go. Yeah.

Unknown:

But it's, it's interesting, you mentioned, you know, kind of being dragged. And I think for somebody like you are, you know, it's something I strive for, as well. But you know, if you're striving to leave, or to lead a life that is led by God, then it's going to feel like there's no other option, because God is telling you to do it, you're going to do it. But there are so many people who bury that feeling, and who bury those thoughts, because they are very scary. And they just say, I know, you want me to do this God, or I think that you might want me to do this. But honestly, I'm not really willing to look into it yet. Because it's this really scary. And I can absolutely empathize with that. That feeling of saying, wait a second. This makes no sense. You want me to leave a great job with a great salary a great trajectory. For something I literally have no idea how to do when I have three Todd for toddlers, and another one on the way like, that's, that doesn't make sense. And it is really painful. But I don't I don't think he I don't think he forces our hand. If you are trying to live a life, where God is directing you, it's gonna be really uncomfortable to ignore those messages. But I don't think he's gonna force it.

Juli Wenger:

No, I think most of the time he doesn't. I mean, in my case, it felt kind of like that. Right? It was like, I, I need you now. Like, this is your Esther moment, you need to just step out. Like, we're just we're going screw the consequences. We're going right. And for other people, though, and I keep hearing they're like, God's a gentleman, he won't, you know, he won't make you do anything. And I, you know, I really chose not to, he probably wouldn't have but I mean, he knows what he needs to do to get us in play. And the, the challenge for so many people, like you're saying is when we ignore those messages, I mean, they'll often get louder. But there's this internal tension, right? Because there's this pull. And it's the I know, there's something I'm called to a no, there's more in this life, and I'm experiencing. And I can either go after it, or I can stay here and I can fight it. And either way, it's going to take energy and it's going to take effort and the staying in something that ultimately won't fulfill us and won't give us that freedom that you were talking about of I know who's I am and I know where my value comes from. And I know what I'm here for I'm gonna go do that thing. There's so much stress, and anxiety and burnout and that just like, as I said, that I see in people and so I just want to encourage anyone who's listening that yes, it's scary and it feels scary. But ultimately it comes down to this question of Do you trust them or not? Yeah. Right. It's fully trust and trust is something we have to choose. And trust is something I still have to choose. It's not like that's going to go away. Faith is active. And faith is an everyday choosing. So why we see that pick up your cross daily kind of languaging? is, this is not like a once and done. And I think that's where a lot of people struggle in faith, right? It's like, okay, I believe, and then that's the end of it. It's like, no, no, that's just the first step. And then we get to go in, like, develop and build. And so

Unknown:

yeah, there's this quote by Jim Carrey, the actor, and he gives some commencement, I don't even know where the commencement is, I think it's a divinity school, some sort, I don't know. But I've watched this YouTube video, dozens, maybe hundreds of times, it's like a minute and a half. But he talks about how his dad could have been a great comedian. But he chose the safe route. And he became an accountant, which seems like polar opposites to me. But yeah, he, he chose the safe route of the accountant. And then he was laid off from that job. And then Jim talks about the lesson that he learned from his father, or one of the ones was that you can fail at what you don't want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. I get a little motional thing about that video, that video has changed my life. A big part of it, but I think it goes to add to his words there a little bit is doing what you love, or doing what you feel like God wants you to do, can be scary. But you can also fail at what you're currently doing. Just because it feels safe doesn't mean that it is safe. And so taking that leap of faith, whether that's for something of your own value, your own desire, or something that you feel called to or both, like, why not take the leap? The thing that really helped me a lot somebody pointed out to me and I don't even remember who but think about like, what's the worst case scenarios, like we'll be homeless? And they're like, really? You don't have any friends or family? Who would take your family? And then I was like, Well, no, I mean, of course we do. Like, if we were to literally homeless, somebody would take us in, like, okay, so worst case scenario, you live in your mother in law's basement for a year, right? While you're getting back on your feet. Like there are worse things in life. And, and we put it in that perspective, it was so eye opening to me like in this day and age, starting a company going out on your own taking a big leap of faith. There really isn't a big risk. There are so many safety nets underneath us. And when we realize that it's not our value that we're leaving behind, that's not at risk. It's just our temporary, you know, financial situation, well, that can be changed instantly. Whether we like it or not sometimes, but that's something that we can that we can rebuild. And so yeah, it's it's not as scary as you think when you put it in that perspective.

Juli Wenger:

Yeah. Oh, there's so many more tangents we could go on. But I want to touch on really quickly, because I'm like, just, this is so quintessential me, right? We're in the middle of this from author to authority series. And I'm like, let's have a true becoming ourselves conversation. This is really refreshing to my soul, actually, because we've been so in the like, here's the process of writing a book and publishing a book and just taking people on the journey, which I believe is important, or we wouldn't have done it. It's very much like, Okay, God, what are we doing next? take people on this journey. Okay, cool. And here's where we're going to bring it together. Okay. So, I am in the middle of the publishing piece of this whole book process. And Jake is in the writing the manuscript piece of the process. So I wanted to get for a few minutes just to touch on what that process has been like for you, because we're all wired differently. Right. So it's been a really interesting thing to hear from a number of authors now fellow authors published not yet published on the journey in terms of what are you learning? What is what you expected, not what you expected? Just like some quick thoughts on that. Yeah.

Unknown:

So yeah, this is another one of those moments where I felt very directed. I I've always wanted write a book. Ever since I was a kid. I think I wanted to write a book. And when I started my my coaching career, my A podcast, a lot of people recommended it, like, Hey, if you want to be a really successful coach, you got to write a book like that that gives you you know, it helps you to define your coaching philosophy, it also helps you to define, or to give you a kind of a clout or some sort of expertise, right, this is what you need to do, this is what you should do as a coach. And I just didn't feel the need to do that. I didn't feel like it was important for me. And that was really important for me to recognize, and to give myself permission to not do that. There are so many plates I was trying to spin and saying, Hey, don't worry about a book right now. It was a really important thing for me to tell myself. Yeah. Then. Fast forward? Well, I mean, it was I started my podcast in so we're seven months in, I think. And about a month ago. This is actually no, this was two weeks ago. This is not the first time by the way that I've received deep revelation while in the hospital, with a pregnant, either pregnant wife for a newborn, and a recently pregnant wife. But while we're in the hospital two weeks ago, I felt very strongly you need to write a book. And my initial reaction at first was, Oh, that's really exciting. And then within a matter of seconds, fear came hard. And this fear of you don't know what you're talking about. You don't know. Like, no one's gonna read it anyways. Nobody cares what you have to say. It's just a marketing ploy. You don't actually want to, to write a book, you're just wanting to get on stage. And all these these thoughts started coming to my mind. And I just had to keep revisiting that revelation that I'd gotten of you need to write a book and trying to figure out well, why why do I want to write a book. And the reason I want to write a book is the same reason that I started to show the same reason I started coaching, is I want people to realize that wild success, outrageous, you know, ridiculous success, whatever you're dreaming, that is possible. And still having a faith and family, those things are not mutually exclusive. And a book is just going to help share that message. And so when I came, that realization is like, Okay, let me start writing. And so I'm early, and I'm two weeks into this process, but I gotta tell you, God, every single time I open my computer to start typing, that fear comes back. Yeah, every time. And I'll, I'll open it up. And a lot of times, it's just gonna be like, Oh, my gosh, I can't even do this right now. I'm just gonna watch YouTube. You know, I'm just gonna scroll through Facebook or scroll through Instagram. That's less painful than writing this book. And it's interesting, because is there actually any danger in me sitting at my computer and typing? Probably not there. The odds of me being hurt, physically, or even emotionally in that situation are very low. But the fear is really, really high. And I think, for me, that is one sign that it's something I shouldn't be doing. Because that is an opposition. That really doesn't make a lot of sense of

Juli Wenger:

this. Yeah, well, because it's imposter syndrome, right. And impostor syndrome shows up with every single up level. And so when we're on our path, and we're doing what we're called to, it's a confirmation that we're on the right track, it's a confirmation, we're expanding and growing, and, and it's an invitation to keep going. But the fear, I mean, it's ego, right? Like, it's that and I have the same thing. And I see the same thing show up all the time, anytime you start something new, and that inner critic voice gets so loud, and I think especially because we are children of God, and we're operating from that faith place, like there are going to be more than just ego level attacks on that journey, because we will transform the world and we will impact people in a way that is restorative. And so you know, for you to walk that journey out. And you know, have the context you have on fear and to see that like okay, you know, bring it I see you I know what you're trying to keep me safe from like, you know, the failure and the wasting of time and then like, exactly like you're saying, what if no one reads it? What if no one cares? Like no doesn't matter? Because if I'm called to do it, then there are people that are assigned to it that I am assigned to, to serve and to support and obviously get really fired up about that. But it's like that's what's supposed to show up. Yeah. And it's it's funny to me actually, because it was like we're gonna bring Jake on and like he's writing a book and like, we didn't have that conversation. I thought we had that conversation like, Okay, God, that's interesting. On the pre call, and I'm like you're writing a book like, well, I am working on one

Unknown:

you are. Now the second person who knows this. I told my wife and I've told you

Juli Wenger:

and your audio now it's out in the world. So you have to do it. Well, I

Unknown:

mean, I'm doing it. There's, there's no stopping this train

Juli Wenger:

will hold you accountable? Yeah, no, no, please do. Well, I mean, it's, it's encouraging for me to write because this whole podcast series, and walking people through this journey, when it's for people, were thinking about it, but it's also for people like you are like, Okay, I'm into the process. I've never done this before. I have no frame of reference, this is new. And if I can help people leapfrog over some of the challenges and some of the learning curves that I've gone through and figuring this all out, like, all for it, man, because we need, we need need need more people, getting their stories out there and empowering people and encouraging people and giving people hope. Because right now world is like it's a challenging place. There's a lot of mental health issues, and a lot of the people that are living lives that are like, not their purpose filled fired up lives. So yeah, I'm excited that you're working on it. And yeah, just tell fear to go suck it. Keep working.

Unknown:

I love I love what you said about the opposition is part of the journey. Like, when you start something, if there's no opposition, like that's a that's a red flag for me. Like, wait a second, no one's gonna stop me here. You know, the way I think about is on a basketball court. I saw this video of this guy, this this high school kid or whatever Middle School, who dribbles towards the wrong basket and scores a point. And nobody tries to stop them. Because they're all like, oh, please like to have added like score. And that's kind of what I think about like, if I am, if there's no one trying to stop me, something is off, right? And it's actually concerning to me. And so it's knowing the opposition is part of the journey is really important thing to remember. You know, since you've been going over this, I'm sure there are listeners out there who are thinking about starting a book, and I again, am no expert, I'm two weeks ahead of you if you're thinking about writing a book, and what I would say is just start writing. When I started writing, again, two weeks ago, I had a rough idea of what I could talk about, like very broad, you know, a sentence or two. And I kept had this feeling of I don't have enough to say here, I couldn't even fill up a book. And now I'm at the point two weeks in where I just keep getting, as the as I'm writing as I'm trying to hash out this process, I'm getting more and more revelation. And I believe from a spiritual point of view, that's the way I received revelation is when I start doing the work, that's when it comes. And so at this point, I've got eight chapters that I feel really, really good out good about. And I think there are more to come, for sure. But like, if I hadn't ever started the process, I wouldn't be where I am now. And so for those people who are listening, I just want to encourage you just start, you'll be amazed at what comes out of out of your mouth out of your keyboard, if you just start creating.

Juli Wenger:

So for those who want to keep up with Jake's book writing journey, we're gonna drop some links in the show notes, so you can follow his social channels and things and keep up to speed on that and keep him accountable. Because, you know, he said he's gonna do it. So like, I'm, I'm waiting for the book, man. Other than that, thanks so much for being on the show. It was great fun. It was really fun. I enjoyed this. And congratulations on baby number five. You think you're crazy, but you're amazing and beautiful and a blessing. And you know, I just hope you get enough sleep. Sure. Yeah. Well, thanks for being on the show.

Unknown:

Absolutely, no, this is a great pleasure. And you got lucky you didn't hear any kids crying in the background, which is there was no syrup. I should record podcasts more often because 45 minutes without any kids crying is truly a miracle. So yeah, thank you for doing that.

Juli Wenger:

Well, all my love and Virtual hugs. I hope this episode stirred something up in you or gave you some hope. Until next time, know that you are enough that everything in you that has been placed in you has been put there to help you carry out the calling that is on your life. If you've enjoyed this podcast, please please please hop into wherever First you listen to podcasts and leave a positive review for us. And then the links that we mentioned during the episode will be in your show notes. So make sure to check those out too. Until next time, be love. Be joy. Be strong and courageous and be too much. I dare you